Joy, Scars, Fear Part 1
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: The behind the scene of what happens when Emily Prentiss meets up with her total past. (This is a cross over to a degree with Rizzoli & Isles)


***Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Criminal Minds or Rizzoli & Iles, I'm just blessed to borrow the characters for the story.**

 **(Chapter One)**

"Hotch I know this is a last-minute request but if at all possible can I miss the upcoming Boston Cambridge recruitment," Emily said with a look of hopefulness in her eyes.

Looking up at her a little frustrated, he didn't have time to baby sit personal likes or dislikes at the moment. He hated Boston just as much as anyone because it held ghosts for him plus Strauss was watching his every move. He just didn't need this right now. "I'm sorry Emily our jobs mainly deal with profiling and assisting law enforcement but it also entails recruitment, unless there is a valid reason for you to not to attend I expect to see you in the morning ready to go."

He watched her stance tense just a bit but her face showed no signs of change. "No I will adjust my circumstances to the needs at hand. Thank you for your time sir, I'll see you on the plane at 0600," she said closing the door and heading back to her desk.

"Hey Emily," Morgan yelled from the bullpen, "We are all going out for drinks tonight if you want to join us."

"No thanks guys 6am comes early and I have laundry to do."

"What Miss Emily Prentiss does her own laundry?" Morgan said faking a look of surprise.

"There are something's one must do for one's self such as underwear, Emily replied rolling her eyes and giving him a fake smile, "One should never trust their underwear to a stranger."

"Oh… come on Princess you can just buy new ones I need a wingman."

"No Morgan, Reid will be there he'll be your wing man besides you need a man to be a wingman." Emily said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes which no one noticed but JJ who had been watching the playful banter between coworkers.

"Thanks a lot Princess hit a guy low." Morgan said looking dejected but smiled.

Reid looked up at the mention of his name, "Hey I'm sure your comment meant something I'm just not sure what."

"Come on Boy Wonder you're going to be my wingman tonight. I'll explain it all on the way to the bar." Morgan said as he and Reid left.

"Hey Em… I overheard you talking about doing laundry, would you like to come over and do the domestic thing together? I would love some company while I packed and cleaned some before tomorrow's trip." JJ said smiling at Emily hoping she would cave in. The blonde was concerned about her friend noticing the tension behind the normal masks she wore.

Sighing deeply Emily answered JJ with a soft "No thank you JJ, I'm really tired and would be very little company tonight. I'll see you on the plane tomorrow."

JJ just smiled and nodded her head in understanding as she watched Emily grab her to go bag and walk out the glass doors and enter the elevator. She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts, not really understanding what was going on with the brunette but tomorrow was a new day to figure out the mysteries that were Emily Prentiss.

 **(Chapter Two)**

Emily was one of the first to arrive at the airport with only Hotch and JJ beating her there. She had begun to wonder if the two of them had a secret marriage to the job. Smiling she decided to play nice until the moment she dreaded was upon her. "Good morning Hotch … JJ" she said before claiming the seat by the window she usually sat in. Thinking to herself "If I pretend to be asleep no one will talk to me," unfortunately that thought quickly dissipated when Morgan and Garcia boarded the plane.

"Good morning Princess, you missed a fabulous night last night." Morgan said with a wide smile.

"Yeah Cupcake we had a yummy time. We even taught Reid how to do the "hustle." Garcia said winking at the blush rising on the genius face.

"Really the hustle, why teach him such an old dance?" JJ said joining in the conversation trying to deflect the attention on to herself instead of Emily sensing the brunette wasn't in the mood for group therapy time.

"Well we figured with the hustle he could follow our lead and not break our toes." Morgan said laughing. "I have to admit though Boy Wonder came through to both our surprise."

Emily just smiled at her friends and went to plan B, "JJ do you have any aspirin? My head is pounding a hustle all its own." She hoped that would stave off any more team interaction until they landed.

"Yeah sure Em let me get my purse," grabbing it off the seat in front of Hotch. JJ handed her two pills & sat down beside her getting ready for takeoff.

"Thank you," Emily said swallowing the pills.

"Laundry my ass Princess, you obviously blew us off to go on a hot date last night." Morgan said with a smirk.

"No hot date just laundry till ten thirty if it's any of your business."

"Okay… okay don't get your clean underwear in a bunch there Princess." Morgan said lifting his hands up in a fake surrender.

Emily glanced around the cabin and noticed a stern look coming from Hotch. She gave him a weak smile and placed her head on the window for support. Noticing the exchange JJ was concerned again but didn't feel it was the time or place to inquire about it.

The flight was quiet which Emily was thankful for but she knew in another five minutes the jet would land and who knew what chaos was waiting for her in Boston. Now she was here again in the city that held her greatest joy, most scars, and worst fear. She watched as the city came into view and sucked in the deepest breath possible hoping that would be enough magic to place her stoic face of professionalism on before they reached the ground.

JJ was watching as her friend totally zoned out of the world around her standing by the wrong SUV. It took three attempts to get her attention. "Hey weren't you listening when Hotch said we were going to the hotel first to check in and then head over to Boston Cambridge? You're to ride with him in the other SUV."

"Oh… yeah thanks I'm a little off today my head is still throbbing." Emily said as she looked up and then walked over to the other vehicle hoping no one else notice her state of mind. "Get it together Prentiss you're making an ass of yourself," chiding herself before getting into the back seat with Reid.

"Hey you okay Emily?" Reid asked with a genuine concern.

"Yea I'm fine Boston isn't my favorite city in the world it always plays havoc with my sinus for some reason making my head hurt. I'll be fine." Emily gave a more detailed explanation due to Hotch watching her in the review mirror as he drove to the hotel.

When they arrived at the hotel they were given the news of doubling up again which was fine any other time but Emily knew this could be an issue this time. She considered getting her own room at her own expense but that would only lead to more questions and enquires. She was grateful it didn't become an absolute necessity since she was paired up with JJ as usual. She loved Garcia but just couldn't handle sharing such a close space with the colorful woman on this trip.

Emily followed JJ to their room and waited for the younger agent to choose a bed, half smiling asking her, "Can you give me the rundown of the itinerary again since I totally missed that conversation?" as she unpacked some of her things.

JJ turned and looked at the brunette with concern asking her the question that had been weighing on her mind since taking off earlier that morning. "Emily what's up with you? I know it's more than just a head ache. I realize that you're very private and that you keep things to yourself but whatever this is it seems bigger than your boxes can handle and sometimes a human ear is the best box there is because they can answer back." JJ watched Emily process her comments and hoped that she hadn't over stepped a personal line.

Emily sat down on the bed with her hand rubbing her face. She was beginning to truly get a head ache. JJ took a chance and sat down next to her waiting for an answer. "Jen." her name was almost missed because of the whispered breath it came out on. "This city holds memories of people in my past; it holds one of my greatest joys, lots of my scars, and my biggest fear. I can only hope to not run smack dab into any of them on this trip," she said with a far-off look.

JJ waited a few more moments and realized that was all she was going to get in the way of an explanation. She also realized with that one statement she had already gotten volumes from Emily who spoke nothing of her past in general. She took Emily's hand causing the brunette to look at her, "Em I'm here for you if the shadows ever come calling and I will not judge what they are. I care about you; your apart of a family now that has your back, I'm here."

"Thank you." Emily said while standing up and going into the bathroom to wash her face. She stood looking into the mirror regaining her resolve again until she heard JJ say that they had to be down stairs in ten minutes.

JJ didn't understand the demons that haunted her friend but she made a pact with herself to try and protect her from the fear of the evil she saw in her friend's eyes. She was amazed to see that within those fifteen minutes in the bathroom that Emily had managed to repair all the walls that she had barely gotten a peep hole through to see a glimpse of. Now the brunette's "Prentiss façade" was well in force again. The blonde just sat a moment wondering how her friend could so easily reel her emotions in without blowing an internal gasket or something; she was in awe of this woman.

"Where are we going first?" Emily asked looking at JJ with a quizzed look on her face.

"We are going to the local prescient for a tour then lunch afterwards then we head to the campus at 4pm for a meet and greet then back to the hotel for diner at 7pm. Tomorrow we give our usual big speech to the juniors and seniors for the morning and evening classes and for any law enforcement that are interested in the BAU or FBI then we fly out at noon Saturday." JJ watched her reactions to the schedule and noticed tension in her shoulders but her facial expressions did not change.

 **XXXXX**

The team entered Boston PD and was greeted by three homicide detectives and a Lt. Cavanaugh. JJ did the customary introductions for the BAU team while lieutenant introduced his team.

"Lt. Cavanaugh I am Jennifer Jareau this is SSA Hotchner, SSA Rossi, SSA Morgan, Dr. Reid, Penelope Garcia, and SSA Prentiss. Thank you for your hospitality today." She said with her media liaison smile.

"Thank you for including us in your recruiting campaign; this is Detective Rizzoli, Detective Frost, & Detective Korsak. You will be meeting our Chief Medical Examiner Isles later when you tour the morgue," he announced as everyone shook hands with formal greetings. He also explained that the group would be splitting up during the tour that way there could be more individual time spent on questions the teams might have for one another.

One group would consist of Korsak and himself taking Hotchner, Rossi, Morgan, & Reid on tour starting with the morgue and crime lab while Rizzoli & Frost would take Jareau, Prentiss, & Garcia and tour the bull pen and communications lab.

Frost addressed the women with a full on charming smile "Ladies if you'll follow Detective Rizzoli and I up to the bullpen we will begin our show and tell fun."

Garcia was eyeing the young detective as though he was the special at an all you can eat prime rib buffet. She leaned back to the girls and said, "He's not my chocolate god but he would do in a pinch," this was before catching his arm with hers saying "Lead the way Mr. GQ I hope your computer skills are just as yummy as the rest of you."

JJ and Emily just rolled their eyes and smiled at the colorful analyst. They both caught Jane's eyes giving Garcia the "Oh my god she did not just say that did she" look.

JJ caught up with a stunned Jane and said "Don't ask it's a long story," as way of an explanation. Jane just shook the comment off as best she could… trusting that the agent beside her knew best.

The morning was progressing along as Garcia was blowing Frost's mind in computer land while JJ and Emily seemed to have a lot in common with the comical stories of male behavior in law enforcement. They were all impressed at the other teams solve ratio and agreed working as a team/family was a real key to their success.

JJ noticed that Emily was actually beginning to relax into the conversation. That was until it came time for the morgue tour then the stress was instantly present in her posture but not in her face. The same steely Prentiss façade was there while her shoulders and white knuckles told a whole different story of the inner Prentiss.

Jane was all excited about the ladies meeting her best friend but Frost wasn't excited at all for the tour of the morgue to begin. He knew that Maura probably wouldn't have a body out given the tours but he just didn't want to get sick in front of the ladies.

Garcia was a little antsy on the whole close and person with the dead thing as well and JJ was just wandering who to worry about more Garcia fainting or Emily given both were almost as white as the sheets covering a body. Emily just looked like she was walking to meet the angel of death personally. She couldn't understand why the brunette was acting this way since she went to morgues all the time to get information and never blinked an eye.

They all rode down to the morgue and entered the exam room; Frost was immediately happy when he saw no show and tell of the cold and flat kind on the tables. Jane was surprised that Maura wasn't in the room with her normal jovial self when they arrived. She went to see if the M.E. was in her office.

Turning JJ noticed Emily shying back as far as she could to the door they entered. She finally couldn't take it anymore, "Emily why are you almost in the hallway looking like you've just seen a ghost, you're not skirmish of morgues?" The brunette never replied she only stood frozen starring at the reddish blonde with green eyes that had appeared with Jane. JJ followed Emily's line of sight when she heard the gasp that had left her friend's lips.

No one seemed to move as the two women just starred at one another. They seemingly entered into another atmosphere. The tension in the room was plausible with all the oxygen being sucked out of the room as Maura closed the distance between Emily and herself and slapped the brunette across the cheek and quickly exited the room, "My apologies but Senior Criminalist Susie Change will be conducting the second tour" she said as she slammed her office door and locked it.

"She just assaulted a federal agent," JJ was yelled at this point totally enraged. Everyone else was in shock except Emily.

"Leave her alone I'm going to the restroom to wash my mouth out," Emily said while wiping the blood that was running from her mouth.

"She just assaulted you," JJ gave Emily a questioning look.

"Leave it be JJ. Just leave it alone," was all Emily said as she waived her hands in disgust downward and left.

The rest of the room soon recovered once Emily was gone. Jane finally found her voice with "What the hell just happened?" Frost expression mirrored Garcia's with mouth open and looking from Maura's office to the women's restroom wondering what was happening. They looked like deer caught in headlights.

JJ regained her composer and began giving instructions "Jane go check on Mike Tyson in there pointing to Maura's office, Garcia you and Frost head back up to Hotch and the others. I'm going to check on Emily and take her back to the hotel in a cab. I noticed blood on her shirt, she'll want to change. Tell Hotch I'll call him in a few. I believe the tour is officially over."

 **XXXXX**

JJ opened the door to the restroom very gingerly so she wouldn't startle her co-worker. "Em you okay."

"I'm fine JJ I just need to go and change my shirt before lunch, I really do not feel like finishing this tour thing."

"Yeah I saw the blood on your shirt and figured you would want to change. I sent Pen back to Hotch with word that you and I were catching a cab back to the hotel and that I would call him later." She said while approaching closer to see how bad the damage to her friend's lip was.

Emily just kept staring into the mirror hoping to wake up from this nightmare, "You can stay and finish up here I can get to the hotel and meet the team wherever needed."

"You know I'm not letting you go by yourself and besides Hotch would kick my butt if I let you go back by yourself." JJ said in a soft but firm voice.

"Your right, can this day get any more miserable?" Emily asked the air in general.

"You ready to head to the hotel then?"

JJ's phone buzzing cut off any reply. "It's Hotch." JJ explained as she answered her phone.

"Jareau."

"Yeah Hotch she is okay but she needs to change her shirt."

"No sir she doesn't want any charges brought."

"Okay we will meet you in the lobby at 3:30pm then."

Emily just listened and knew what was being said on the other end of the conversation. She was standing by the door ready to leave as JJ ended the call.

 **(Chapter Three)**

The cab ride to the hotel was a non-verbal experience. JJ could sense the tension pouring off of her friend so in an effort to ease the atmosphere she offered to go and get some lunch and bring it back to the room while Emily changed and gather herself.

During their phone conversation Hotch had told her that the team was on their own until 3:30pm where they were due in the lobby to leave for the meet and greet at the college. This would give them time to eat and regroup before the function.

JJ entered their room with a bag of deli sandwiches and two cups of coffee. There wasn't a line at the restaurant so it hadn't taken her very long to get their lunch. She heard the shower running and figured Emily was taking a moment to clean up. She placed the lunch on the small table and was trying to figure out the craziness of this day when she heard faint sobs over the pouring of the shower.

Finding herself in a quandary, JJ wondered wither to knock and check on her friend or go outside and pretend she was just getting back to the room by making loud noises letting Emily know she was in the room. Deciding that the brunette might just shut down all together if she checked on her she just chose the charade of leaving and coming back into the room figuring that everyone deserved to have a crying moment alone without anyone else knowing or judging.

"Hey Em I'm back. I got you turkey on whole wheat and a coffee." JJ spoke out into the room as she let the room door shut on its own accord. She knew it would bang shut announcing her presence in the room. This solved the sobbing issue immediately for all she heard was the water turning off and Emily appearing ten minutes later with her steely Prentiss facade on in full display yet the hints of red eyes from tears could still be seen.

"I'm not sure I can eat right now my head is pounding." Emily said while she held her head in her hand. This statement had truly become a fact instead of an excuse to keep people from talking to her. The stress of the morning had caused a pounding tension head ache to manifest.

JJ smiled and held up a brand-new bottle of Advil, "I anticipated that so I stopped in the gift shop and got you these."

"You are an angel straight from heaven," Emily said as she took the bottle of pills and one of the coffees.

"You know you really need to eat at least a bite or two of that sandwich or your stomach isn't going to be very happy with the Advils. An empty stomach may also be part of the reason your head hurts I bet you haven't eaten since yesterday." JJ said as she handed her half of the turkey sandwich.

Emily gave JJ a halfhearted smile, "You know me so well; I'll give it a try but no promises."

"Good," She smiled as she finally saw some connection back in Emily's eyes. "Listen Pen is coming back to the hotel so I'm going to take my lunch to her room when she gets here so you can rest and try to get rid of your head ache. I figure Pen's one hundred and one questions couldn't be conducive to a pain free head right now."

They both were smiling a knowing smile when JJ's phone buzzed with a text. It was Pen telling her she was down the hall in her room. "Well I'm heading out. I'll be back at 2:30pm to get ready. Try and get some rest please." JJ said as she turned towards the door to leave.

"Jennifer" the blonde stopped in her tracks just as her hand was going to open the door. "Thank you," was all that Emily could get out but she said it with all the honesty of her heart.

"You're very welcome," JJ said with a compassionate smile and left the room.

 **XXXXX**

JJ didn't even get her hand on the door to knock when it was opened and she was being pulled in by the wind of a massive rainbow of color known as Penelope Garcia. "Whoa Pen wait a second before I fall." JJ said with a laugh.

"Sorry Butter Cup, so what's up with our brunette bomb shell?" Pen said as she pulled JJ over to her table to eat their lunch. "Have you gotten any information on the mid-evil mortician? Has Emily come to her senses and going to press charges?"

"Hold up a minute Pen, Emily is still suffering from a head ache and she is still Emily who is private as ever so the answer to all of your questions is no." JJ said with a face of chill out woman and it's none of our business rolled into one.

"Well I expected as much from our brooding princess so I have started a search on my babies of the mid-evil goddess of torture."

"Penelope… she is a medical examiner granted with a mean right cross but I'm sure…"

JJ was cut off by Garcia "Don't even go there miss go take care of Mike Tyson in there."

Both of them just ended up looking at each other and busting out laughing. JJ relented to Penelope with "Okay I'll give you that one. I am just at a loss of this whole situation."

"Well it's apparent our ladies know each other and it seems in a very personal way. Hell, with a slap like that Emily must've stolen her prom date, slept with him and bragged about it the next day." Garcia said as a way of explanation of such a violent offensive attack.

JJ just smiled and shook her head saying "We shouldn't be profiling our friend but I have to agree that slap was like you peed in my Wheaties and I'm hacked off about it. I'm just afraid it's more Pen."

"Why, give the details, your holding back on me missy. I can tell." Garcia said in her I can mess with your identity in five seconds if I want to voice.

"Total confidentiality?" JJ asked with a straight face.

"As always." Garcia replied.

"No Pen, I mean not a word of this leaves this room ever." JJ clarified the terms of the deal.

"This better be good for that kind of deal, okay." Garcia said excited to hear what JJ had to say.

"When I brought our lunches back to the room Emily was in the shower. I didn't think anything of it until I heard her crying over the water running. I was so surprised that she was crying that I left the room and came back in making lots of noise so she would know I was there. When I did she stopped and ten minutes later she came out of the bathroom like nothing happened. She was straight faced Emily again." JJ said as she looked at her best friend.

Penelope sat and starred at JJ a few moments gathering her thoughts. "Wow Emily Prentiss cried?"

"Pen that's not the issue, our friend is hurting and this woman seems to be the cause of that pain."

"JJ… I have never seen that woman even tear up let alone shed any moisture." Garcia said while using her hands to animate her point. "We have to find out who the Sam Hill this "Ice Queen" is. We still have the meet and greet tonight and the lecture tomorrow to do. How is she going to handle all of that?"

JJ just sat with her eyes closed gathering her thoughts a moment. "I know Pen, I really don't know how she will handle it but I do know we can't go all profiler on her either. She is entitled to have a past life and not be judged by it from her co-workers." She said as she made a final resolve to give Emily some space.

Penelope just sat opening and closing her mouth a few times before making up her mind on the course of action she was going to take no matter what. This woman had hurt one of her family and by god she was going to at least find out the woman's history before thinking about destroying her credit.

With her mind made up Penelope grabbed one of her babies to see where her search had gotten to and began to read aloud, "Dr. Maura Isles Chief Medical Examiner for the Common Wealth of Massachusetts graduated valedictorian of her class from Boston Cambridge with a PHD. She is the adopted daughter of Richard and Constance Isles. She does a lot of charity work and has consulted at Quantico for the FBI. She attended a French boarding school at Institut de La Tour in Paris France from the ages of fourteen to eighteen…"

"Wait Institut de La Tour? Emily told me she went to a boarding school in Paris when she was fifteen for a year or two. I wonder if that's the common link." JJ looked at Pen with a look of puzzlement.

 **XXXXX**

"Frost I really don't know what's going on. Maura is locked in her office crying and will not let me in." Jane said with concern for her best friend.

"Jane… you sure Maura's crying? I haven't ever seen her cry." Frost said with just as much concern for the M.E. as Jane.

"Yes… I heard her through the door and she does cry but it's usually at stupid stuff like duck shoes." Jane said referencing the time Maura and her had ran in the Boston Marathon and Maura had bought both of them shoes that had individual toes in them and Jane had made Maura cry by saying "I'm not running this race dressed as a Mallard Duck."

"Well let's just go to the web and see who this Emily Prentiss is then," making up his mind to see who it was they were dealing with.

"Frost we can't just run a back-ground check on a FBI agent." Jane said even though she had thought of running one herself already. She knew something was terribly wrong because Maura never turned to violence. This woman had to have done something really horrible to get that reaction from Maura.

"No one said anything about running a back ground check on …"

"Who are we running a back ground check on and what the heck happened in the morgue?" Frost was interrupted by Korsak

"We are not running a back-ground check on anyone but we are using the internet to find out about a FBI agent named Emily Prentiss who Dr. Isles slapped silly when she saw her and then locked herself in her office afterwards." Frost said as his hands flew over the keyboard of his computer.

"Rizzoli, Frost my office now!" Lt. Cavanaugh went straight to the point. Jane and Barry looked at each other with the "oh crap" look of being called into the principal's office. They both walked in looking at the floor. "Rizzoli… can you tell me what the hell happened in the morgue just now?" the Lieutenant asked straight forward.

She never got to answer the question due to a knock on the door. It was Dr. Isles who interrupted the meeting asking the Lieutenant for a word alone. Cavanaugh dismissed the two detectives and waited for them to leave. Jane walked by Maura and reached to squeeze her shoulder for support. She could see the red rimmed eyes and puffy patches under her friend's eyes indicating that she had been crying very hard.

Korsak was waiting at Frost's desk when they returned reading the bios on Emily Prentiss. "What was that all about" He motioned with his head at the Lieutenant's office.

"We really still have no clue." Frost said while shaking his head then tried to get Jane's attention so he could inform her of what the internet said about SSA Prentiss. "Jane… Jane… earth to Jane!"

"What! Oh… sorry Frost I was just thinking about all this crap. What do you have on our mystery woman from Maura's past?" Jane said while still starring at Maura through the window of the lieutenant's office.

Frost and Korsak just looked at each other with a complete look of concern for their colleagues. This was totally out of character for the both of them and the guys knew they had a whole weekend to deal with Mars not understanding Venus which was usually the case but now it really was getting scary because it seemed Venus wasn't understanding Venus either.

"Okay Emily Prentiss is the daughter of Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss and the heir of the Prentiss fortune of her father Douglas Henry Prentiss V. She traveled with her family abroad and was privately tutored until she was fifteen when she attended a boarding school in Paris the Institut de La Tour."

"Wait!" Frost was interrupted by Jane. "The boarding school was in Paris?"

"Yea it was in Paris." Frost confirmed.

"That is where the connection has to be from; Maura went to a French boarding school in Paris." Jane said as she finally moved to look at Frost's computer.

They all looked up when they heard the door open to the lieutenant's office and saw Maura walking out. "Thank you Sir I will see you at Boston Cambridge tonight." Maura said as she closed the door.

"Maur" Jane almost whispered her name hoping the woman would stop and talk to her.

"Dr. Isles" the men greeted and quickly walked away when Maura stood in front of Jane.

"I apologize for my behavior earlier." Maura started speaking in her professional voice which Jane understood was helping her to not break down again. "I cannot discuss this right now but I am going to ask if you will pick me up for the meet and greet tonight. I'm not confident in being alone at this moment and would be grateful for the transportation."

"Yea Maur I'll be there at 3pm to get you." Jane said with a look of are you okay but knew better than to voice the words for her friend's sake. "Do you want me to drive you home now?"

"No I need some quiet time to meditate and try to get things back into places they have escaped from." was all that Maura said as she looked and saw Emily's picture on Frost's computer and turned quickly with her hand over her mouth trying to choke down the sobs she felt rising in her chest.

The three detectives watched the retreating back of the usually confident M.E. as she walked away with her shoulders slumped and they were just as confused now as when she slapped the woman earlier that day.

"I do not know what happened or why this woman is like a haunting ghost from Maura's past but I'm not so sure we should pry into it. This is really scary deep and I think we need to let Maura tell us when she needs or wants to tell us." Jane said after feeling the impact of the emotions rolling around in her best friend's eyes. Frost and Korsak looked at Jane then to the empty space by the elevators where Maura was and just shook their heads in agreement with Jane.

 **(Chapter Four)**

JJ opened the door to the hotel room gingerly just in case Emily was sleeping. When she entered the room fully she heard the shower running again, she looked around the room and noticed half of the sandwich had been eaten. She wondered if Emily had gotten sick and that was the reason for the second shower in less than three hours.

She knocked on the bathroom door and enquired "Emily you okay?" The water stopped but no answer was forth coming. JJ opened the door slightly to maintain privacy and asked again "Em you okay?" She heard Emily's voice in a whisper almost "I'm fine JJ. You were right about the Advils and my stomach; I threw up a few moments ago."

"Okay I was just concerned. You have an hour before we have to meet everyone in the lobby. Do you want me to get you some crackers or ginger ale to try and settle your stomach?"

"I'm really not up to putting anything in my stomach right now. I think empty is better and my head ache eased some when I threw up." Emily said coming out of the bathroom in a hotel robe. JJ took in her color and facial expressions before deciding to drop the food idea. She was pale as a ghost even after getting out of a hot shower.

Emily went to her to go bag and pulled out her necessities for the meet and greet, "I'll be done with the bathroom in ten minutes if you want to freshen up." JJ just nodded understanding.

Sitting on her bed JJ wondered how they were going to get through tonight at all. Her phone buzzed interrupting her thoughts.

"Hey Hotch… She is getting ready as we speak… Yes… I understand… We will meet you in the lobby then."

She was glad that Hotch had decided that Emily and she were going to be behind the scenes setting up tomorrow's lecture when they got to the campus. This would prevent Emily from running into Dr. Isles. He had also instructed the rest of the team to run interference if at all possible if it appeared they were to come in contact with each other as well. He had also indicated that the detectives were under the same orders from their side to run interference for Dr. Isles in the hopes tonight wouldn't be another disaster.

"Who was that?"

"It was Hotch. He said we were to do the behind the scene set ups for tomorrows lecture when we get there." She said with a hopeful smile towards her friend.

"So… he doesn't think I can act like a professional then, great just great." Emily said as more of a statement than a question.

"No Emily! None of this is your fault; you weren't the one who went all Mike Tyson over god knows what." JJ said raising her voice a bit in an effort to make her point.

"JJ today may not have been my fault but never think I'm totally innocent. There are many sad situations people can find themselves in with no way of fixing them." She said with such a faraway look of despair that JJ felt a shiver of sadness flow down her spine.

"You said earlier that this city holds your greatest joy, scars, and fear. I take it we met a scar or fear today." JJ said trying to see if she could get Emily to open up some more about the situation.

"No today you met the greatest joy of my life," was all Emily said while putting on her boots then turning to her and asking "Are you ready to go?"

JJ shook her head thinking if Dr. Maura Isles was Emily's greatest joy dear god what would happen if we met her scars or greatest fear. "Yea just let me get my jacket," was all she said as they left the room.

 **XXXXX**

The ride to the college was another silent affair but the tension in the cars was so thick you could slice it like a Thanksgiving turkey. Hotch kept gauging Emily's mood from the review mirror. He felt assigning her to set up for the lecture tomorrow was proving to be the wisest of choices.

All was going well with the behind the scene set ups until Dr. Isles stepped into the room with a student for a private conversation. Emily and Maura just starred at one another across the room. This time both of their eyes displayed the atmosphere of pure sadness no one had to be a profiler to see the pain in both of their souls. Emily just hung her head and went behind the stage curtain and leaned up against the wall.

The scene was getting to JJ and she was going to finally intrude into Emily's thoughts for some answers that was until she saw the once confident Emily looking like she was begging the wall to swallow her up. "Hey Em you okay there?" She whispered.

"I'm fine let's just get this stuff finished so we can leave on time for a quiet dinner of crackers maybe." Emily said trying to hide the depths of pain she was in.

"Oh… about dinner, Hotch told me we are required to attend a dinner by some politician at the hotel." She said with a sorry face.

"Wow this day just keeps going on and on, let the good times roll." Emily said rolling her eyes and sighing. "Come on let's get this over with."

JJ was sure that Emily was the strongest woman she ever met but she wondered just how much more this beautiful soul could handle. She had hoped that Hotch would give the brunette a break from dinner when she told him that Emily had thrown up again but he said it was mandatory attendance and that Emily didn't have to eat but she still had to attend.

They completed setting up as the team had finished with everything out front. The ride to the hotel mirrored the ride to the college, complete silence. Everyone just wanted to retire to their rooms and rest, no one really wanted to have to play nice for a politician.

 **(Chapter Five)**

"Well I think that fun filled two hours went great how about you?" Jane said as she drove them to the hotel where they were ordered to attend the planned dinner with no exceptions.

"Jane I realize you are trying to ease the stress of all this but I really do not want to talk about it right now. Maybe you can just stay at my house tonight and I will try and explain but I just need quiet for my head to quit pounding." Maura said on an exasperated sigh.

Jane looked over at her friend who was just looking out the window. Jane knew that whatever the hell this crap was it was very serious because Maura never just had a headache it was always a mile-long scientific explanation of blood not jumping up and down in the fourth dimension of her brain or something like that.

"Okay Maur I'll leave you alone for now but you are going to have to talk to me about this mysterious woman and why the hell she brings the boxer out in you." Jane said with conviction. Maura never answered she just kept watching the street lights go by the car window.

 **XXXXX**

The Boston PD team arrived first to the restaurant, Jane and Maura noticed a large table was set up in a private room at the back of the restaurant. The host ushered them to it where they noticed name cards in the plates. They found their names and were about to change placements when Hotch came in and spoke "Ladies the table arrangements were made exactly to the order of our hostess please take your assigned seats." He was also informing his team that no seats were to be changed on their parts either.

The air in the room became thick when everyone sat down for Emily was directly across from Maura. Everyone was thinking the world was pushing for an apocalypse between these two women. Emily was grateful that JJ was at least seating next to Maura so she could focus her eyes on her if she had to look up.

She also noticed the two chairs to her right were vacant and the place cards were blank. She didn't have to wait long to find out who those seats were for when the hostess of their dinner made her entrance.

"Good evening everyone so glad you could make room in your busy schedule for my little dinner." The hostess said with a bright grin that would mirror Emily's if Emily was smiling.

Emily cringed at the sound of the voice and stood up immediately with a fake smile and said "Everyone I would like to introduce Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss and Douglas Henry Prentiss V." Emily announced to the room.

Everyone stood from their seats except Emily and Maura who were already standing like toy soldiers. After the formal introductions were made everyone settled back into their seats but Emily and Maura never settled back into their skins. They both looked like they needed airplane barf bags at any moment as they starred at the water glasses in front of them.

Emily took a deep breath and decided to start the drama that clearly had been rehearsed without her knowledge. "Mother what brings you out on this lovely evening?"

"Well dear when my only child finally comes to her birth city and makes a fool of herself a mother has to come and check on her. Imagine when I received the call of the incident at the police station how shocked I was but more to the fact is you never called informing me of your arrival in Boston in the first place," the Ambassador said in a low firm tone.

JJ and Maura both cringed at the tone and the words spoken. They both watched Emily's eyes go totally flat. JJ didn't think it was possible for Emily to go deeper into herself and Maura knew this was the start of a very bad evening.

"Well Dr. Isles I talked with your mother today she sends her love." The Ambassador said in the same tone. Maura just looked at her and smiled shaking her head as way of acknowledgement.

The waiters came and took orders and poured wine. The men just sat at the table drinking in absolute silence; everyone was waiting the next round of drama from the ladies at the table. The air was so thick that even Garcia was in a momentary loss of words and waited the next round to begin. No one had to wait long for that to occur.

Elizabeth looked at Hotch and said, "Thank you again for allowing me this opportunity to see my daughter. I understand you are on a very tight schedule with the recruitment of young people. If I remember correctly this is how my Emily became employed by the FBI."

Emily spoke, "pas là mère." (Not here mother)

"Vous agissez un imbécile et osez pas demander ici. Je vous ai dit il ya des années , je ne serais pas pour cette!"

(You act a fool and dare say not here. I told you years ago I would not stand for this!)

Forgive my daughter and my rudeness of speaking French. My daughter's command of many languages is a gift but she forgets etiquette sometimes." The Ambassador said to the table.

"Non scusarti per me madre . Non ho ordinato un summit di famiglia di fronte a tutte queste persone ." (Do not apologize for me mother. I did not order a family summit in front of all these people.)

Emily said with a raised voice.

"Now we go to Italian dear. Is this your way of steering the conversation away from your beloved France?" Elizabeth said glaring at Dr. Isles.

Emily dropped her head as a shiver shook her being. The whole table watched the battle being waged in her but everyone felt helpless in defending Emily against her powerful mother. Thankfully the waiters had filtered in with the dinners. Everyone was glad that the conversation would end as they ate or least they were hoping it would.

"Dr. Isles I hear you graduated from Boston Cambridge, did you know Emily was going to go there until I convinced her to go to Yale. She did how ever come out to visit the campus after graduating Yale early. I believe she was looking into getting a master's degree then but that was before these lovely FBI people recruited her. I believe that was the time you were engaged to that boy named Garret if I'm not mis….

Emily bit out, "Mutter bitte lassen Sie es allein." (Mother please leave it alone!)

"Ich traf einen Nerv habe ich ?" (I hit a nerve, did I?) Elizabeth spit back.

"e lohai Adonai oz rei ni" (my God Lord help me) Emily said looking up to the ceiling.

"You are not Jewish Emily your Catholic." Elizabeth spat out.

"I am neither mother I am only empty." Emily flatly said back.

JJ and Maura both looked at Emily worriedly.

"Well Dr. Isles I see you have a mean right cross by the bruising on my daughter's face. " The Ambassador said.

Everyone at the table froze in shock; this was the Ambassador's end game the whole point of this dinner. Before Maura could speak a word, Emily stood up and glared at Hotchner saying, "Sir my head ache is back with full force, I hate to be rude but I feel it is necessary to retire to my room so I can be fresh for tomorrows lecture. She then turned to Maura and said "yesumeh habibiy" (forgive me darling). Then turned towards her mother and said, "do svidaniya mat'." (good bye mother) Emily left the room waiting answers from no one just holding her hand to her mouth as though she was going to be sick again.

JJ's first instinct was to run after Emily but she also felt the need to stay and watch how things played out between the Ambassador and Maura.

"Emily always tries to protect people, she thinks by leaving that the conversation is over. She hasn't learned yet that's how I win." Elizabeth said just loud enough for Maura to hear. Maura stood up and with all the anger in her said,

"Oserez-vous parler d' Emily de cette manière . Elle est la plus belle , la compassion, l'amour et par personne . Comment osez-vous !

Comment osez-vous !

(Do you dare speak of Emily in that manner, she is the most beautiful, caring and loving person. How dare you!)

"Why tu l'aimes encore. I will tell you what I told Emily over twenty years ago I will not stand for it. No Prentiss will ever live in such a manner and I will do everything in my power to end such silliness. I will not let foolishness mire the Prentiss name nor should your mother allow it to mire the Isles name." Elizabeth spat out in a controlled rage.

Maura turned towards Lt. Cavanaugh and Hotchner and said, "Forgive me sirs but I believe Emily's head ache is contagious. I feel I must leave before things worsen." She then looked at JJ and motioned for her to stand.

She stood and the M.E. enveloped her in a hug so she could speak privately in her ear, "I sense you are close to Emily. We both have seen how she is shutting down. She will need to hear the sound of a heartbeat. You will understand this when the time comes." She said as she placed one of her business cards into JJ's hands. She then turned to an open-mouthed Jane and requested transportation home as she muttered to herself about rectifying slapping the wrong Prentiss.

JJ looked at the business card and then to the retreating woman in front of her. She shook her head wondering why her opinion of this woman that she wanted to throttle not more than an hour ago turned into an instant respect and admiration of her.

The Ambassador looked around the table and decided her work was finished and stood addressing Hotchner. "Arron… it was a pleasure again and thank you for this time, it seems that my presence is now required elsewhere. Douglas have the car brought around please dear. My apologies for the atmosphere of this dinner but please feel free to enjoy the rest of your evening and have the manager send my office the receipt, good night everyone."

Everyone at the table was stunned like a bomb had gone off and half the table was now missing. JJ broke the silence by looking at Hotch and saying "I'm going to go and check on Emily. Please everyone let her rest tonight. I will text if anything is needed."

Hotch looked at JJ and answered, "I think that's a good idea."

JJ left as Penelope was saying, "Does anyone besides me feel they have entered into a nightmare where "Mommy dearest is a guest star on "Dynasty" and they were all playing at "Wimbledon" and then it changed to a Japanese ping pong match that ended up with octopuses hitting eight tiny balls so fast you just lost the balls then you woke up so exhausted wondering what the hell you had eaten the night before and swearing off sushi?" The table erupted in a roar of laughter. They all needed the release from all the stress in the atmosphere.

Morgan said, "No baby girl but I did feel like I needed head phones from the U.N. to translate all the languages going on. It has to be a trip inside Emily's head. How many languages does that woman know?"

"Five I thought but now I believe we may not truly know how many she speaks. I know she speaks Spanish, French, Italian, Russian, & Arabic. But she just spoke prefect Hebrew, German, and I have heard her use Gaelic too." Reid answered.

"All I know Aaron is you had better sleep with your gun tonight or tell Emily you had nothing to do with her mother inviting herself to dinner." Rossi said with a half-smile. Hotch shook his head and said, "The next time Emily asks to pass on a trip I think I will oblige her wishes."

 **(Chapter Six)**

JJ paused at the door and took in a deep breath, she was pretty sure that she would find Emily once again in the shower. She had taken a class on the behavior of victims a few years ago and now recognized the behavior Emily was displaying. Who could blame her though; her mother was abuse waiting to happen. She couldn't believe how cold and how incentive to Emily's feelings this woman was, it was all about her name and reputation, then her father just sat there eating his dinner like nothing was out of the ordinary.

Shaking her head, she tried to clear her thoughts by taking another moment before going into the room; then the other thoughts began to make JJ wonder, especially about the last statement from the Ambassador to Dr. Isles. "You still love her." Was Emily and Dr. Isles together?

She decided to put it all out of her mind for the moment. Emily was her friend and she was obviously in deep pain right now and that's all she needed to know. It was her job to support and help her friend not profile her. With that last thought she opened the door and heard the shower running and deep soulful sobs echoing out from the bathroom.

JJ decided to forgo the charade this time and knocked on the bathroom door, "Emily can I come in?" There was no answer just sobbing. JJ decided to just walk in quietly. She was taken aback by the sight of Emily sitting in the corner of the shower shaking in her clothes sobbing. She went and turned the water off and reached out to the woman, "Emily honey we have to get you out of those wet clothes and dried."

Empty chocolate eyes looked up at JJ but she didn't move. JJ extended her hand to help lift Emily up and began taking wet clothes off the shell of a woman before her. When she had completed the task, she wrapped a towel around the shaking woman's body and gently led her to the bedroom.

Going to Emily's bag she got her Yale t-shirt and sweat pants. Extending the clothes to the shaking woman before her, "Can you put these on while I take care of your wet clothes?" Emily shook her head yes and took the offered clothes and began dressing.

JJ decided to kill two birds with one stone and took her sleeping clothes with her to the bathroom to change. She didn't want to leave Emily alone for very long.

When she returned to the room the brunette was lying in her bed wrapped up in a ball shaking and trying to stifle deep sobs. JJ's heart was breaking to see the depths of pain. She wanted to comfort the woman but she didn't want to intrude on the private woman's personal space. Her thoughts were interrupted by choking sobs.

Hearing Maura's words run through her head, "She will need to hear a heartbeat. You will know when it is needed." JJ walked to Emily's bed and got under the covers pulling the brunette's head to lie on her chest so her friend could hear her heart beat.

They lay there several moments as Emily's sobs and shivers subsided and JJ heard her whisper "e lohai Adonai oz rei ni" (my God Lord help me)

JJ kissed the top of Emily's head and thought to herself, "Dear lord Em what darkness has touched your soul so deep," before falling asleep JJ kissed Emily's head again whispering, "I love you so much my friend. We will defeat these demons together I promise."

 **XXXXX**

The ride to Maura's house was silent. Jane wanted answers but didn't dare ask at the moment. The M.E. was a totally different woman right now and Jane wasn't for sure if she really wanted to meet this version of Maura.

When they reached her house, she turned and asked, "Are you planning on staying over tonight?"

Jane looked apprehensively at the blonde and answered, "I want to stay and I would love some answers too but if you're not in the mood to discuss it I understand. If you want time alone I get it."

Maura shook her head no, "I do not want to be alone tonight. I'm not sure if I will be able to tell you everything but I will try."

They made it into the house, "I'm going to go and change into something comfortable. You have your sweats and t-shirts in the guest bedroom drawers if you want to change as well," Maura said going up the stairs to her bedroom.

She was the first back down stairs and started pouring herself a glass of Merlo when she heard her friend coming down the stairs. She got one of Jane's beers out of the refrigerator which she kept stocked for her friend and they moved to the couch so they could talk in comfort.

Moments passed and Jane noticed Maura was lost in her glass of wine and decided to break the ice. "Maur who is this Emily person, I know you two went to school together I got that much from the conversation but it seemed much more."

Maura looked up into Jane's eyes with tears flowing from hers, "Jane I told you before I never had friends. Well that is true Emily wasn't a friend she was my soul mate."

"Whoa wait a minute Maur are you telling me you two were together, together?" Jane said with a surprised look on her face.

"I am telling you that I loved a woman so deeply that she flowed within my spirit and knew me and loved me beyond physical plains." Maura said while playing with the ring on her finger then continuing on her thought. "Soul mates do not have to be sexual partners, most are not."

Jane just sat there and rubbed her face with her hand. "I'm not getting it Maur."

The M.E. wasn't surprised by Jane's response. "I will start at the beginning and try to explain. All I ask is that you do not interrupt me and try to keep an open mind." Maura said with hope in her eyes.

"I'll do my best Maur, that's all I can promise." -

"I was fourteen when Emily came to the boarding school. She had just turned fifteen. The nuns thought because we were both Americans that we would be great roommates. …"

"Wait a minute you went to a Catholic boarding school?" Jane said interrupting Maura.

"I said no interrupting Jane and yes I went to a Catholic boarding school that had a great science department and because I was American and protestant I got out of church services most of the time."

"You are just full of surprises today aren't ya Dr. Isles?" Jane said shaking her head.

"May I continue while I have my nerve?"

Jane shook her head yes and motioned with her hands for Maura to continue.

"Emily's mother made her come to the school after her behavior became less than shall we say pristine to what the Ambassador demanded. She was a good student but couldn't stay focused and was in a deep depression when she started school.

Every night when we went to bed I would hear her trying to stifle deep sobs. I thought at first, she was just missing home, that was until I actually met her mother. I knew she couldn't be crying because she missed her.

One night after a visit from the Ambassador she couldn't stifle the sobs. That girl was in pain beyond anything I had ever seen. She was alone in a personal hell. I thought I knew what it meant to be lonely but she took it to another dimension.

The only thing I could think of doing to try and comfort her pain was to get in the bed with her and hold her. She resisted at first until I pressed her head to my chest and she heard my heart beat. She just relaxed and finally slept for the first time through the night since she had started school.

We did this nightly for weeks never saying anything about it or talking about the issues that caused the night terrors. I learned later that Emily truly understood the horrors of a thousand lives. She would tell me of the things people tried to do to her in many nations right under her mother's nose and she never stood up for Emily because it would hurt the family name.

She was just a show piece for her mother. Women were supposed to have children and Emily was the Ambassador's contribution to the population. That was truly something her mother said to her.

She told me of the horrors she had witnessed in other countries like the child sex trades and men and women buying anything and using anyone to get more power over other people while others just ignored the suffering of others. Emily hated politics with a passion and after seeing her tonight I can pretty well say that much has not changed about her.

Before she came to the school she had an abortion that she never had told her mother about. She had this friend named Matthew who helped arrange the procedure. She was living in Rome at the time which as you can imagine was not abortion friendly so you can only guess at what she went through in the back streets of Rome getting an abortion. The child was fathered by a blind date her mother sat up for her with a dignitary's son who basically date raped her. She never accepted that it was rape because she felt she had put herself in a wrong place trying to be accepted.

She felt so guilty for the loss of her child but she knew that there was no way she could keep it and she couldn't carry it without detection. She loathed herself when she first arrived but seemingly came to grips with everything but after tonight I wonder if she just buried it in one of her famous boxes she places things in.

She got involved in self-defense and debate which built back her self-esteem some and we became closer to each other. She became protective of me when others would tease me. I found myself opening up to her about my lonely childhood. I also found myself falling in love with her. She was so strong in so many areas. Yes… she had her demons at night but in the day… she was a brave heart not taking anything from anyone and not letting anyone hurt her or me.

I know you want to know if we were sexual partners. The answer is yes later on I fell madly in love with her and instigated a physical relationship as well. She had reservations with it at first being Catholic and all but we study the Hebrew and found no basis of sin in the law that Christianity uses to throw as stones at so many tender souls. Emily trusts God even though she has endured so much. I asked her once why she believed in God. She said "People lie but nothing I've ever read says God is mean. Jesus said he just wants to love us so I like and trust a God like that. Plus… he has never laid a finger on me to hurt me only humans have done that."

People began to notice how close we were getting and there were speculations, there may have been a moment where someone caught us kissing. I'm not really sure but one day her mother was at school the next day Emily was gone without a word.

We had plans of saving the world together, going to college together, and even a family together but one day she was just gone. I didn't understand nor have I trusted anyone as much as I did her. Now after tonight I realize she left to save me from her mother's wrath. I realize she did come to Boston to go to school the moment she felt we would be safe and I was engaged to Garret.

I slapped her this morning out of anger and bitterness. I thought she had abandoned me like everyone had in my life but she was trying to protect me." Maura couldn't contain the tears anymore.

"So… are you a lesbian Maur?" Jane asked sheepishly.

Maura let out a growl "Out of all I said the only thing you're concerned about is if I have slept with a woman. No Jane I'm not a lesbian. I fell in love with one woman and we shared the gift of making love. I haven't desired to sleep with another woman as of yet but if I do I will and then I will be called a Bi-sexual if I have to wear a label!" Maura was beyond angry by the end of her speech.

"Whoa wait a minute Maur" Jane said trying to pull the smaller woman in for a hug. "I'm not judging I'm just surprised and confused is all."

Maura pulled away from the hug and said, "Well maybe we both should just try and get some rest. We still have that lecture to attend tomorrow. I just want this day to finally end."

Maura got up and started to go upstairs but Jane caught her wrist and held her in place. "Maur I'm sorry if I upset you it's just a lot to digest. Please I'm truly not judging you I'm your friend." Jane said with a little whine to her voice.

"I realize it is a lot to take in Jane especially since I have given no indication of ever being with a woman. I also realize this may cause you to doubt our relationship and my emotional status in our friendship. I realize that what I have told you goes against your Catholic upbringing so with all this said I believe that time away to ponder everything is what is needed for the both of us. I also realize you may not want to sleep here tonight and if that's the case feel free to leave I promise I will not hold it against you." Maura said pulling away from Jane and going towards the stairs.

Jane shook her head as she watched Maura going up the stairs and said to the air "Damn I never saw this coming." She was still shaking her head as she turned to lock the house up and make her way to the guest bedroom to try and sleep.

 **(Chapter Seven)**

JJ awoke to an empty bed; she jumped up to check the bathroom and found it empty as well. She started to reach for her phone to make some calls when she heard the door opening and Emily walking in carrying two cups of coffee and a bag containing two bagels.

Emily half smiled and said "Good morning."

"Good morning." JJ said looking at her trying to gauge the brunette's mood.

"I woke up and decided I needed to try and eat something before taking something for my head ache."

"It's no wonder your head is still hurting you. You hardly ate anything at all yesterday and what you did eat you threw up." JJ said with a compassionate voice.

"Speaking of last night," Emily started and quickly looked at the floor. "Thank you for all you did for me Jennifer. I know you probably want answers to questions you have but I can't talk about it right now. I agree we need to talk but please understand I can't right now. I just want to pretend yesterday never happened and give our lecture then get the hell out of Boston as quickly as I can."

"I understand and we can talk later." JJ said as she walked over and took a coffee with one hand and lifted the brunette's chin with the other. She wanted to look Emily in the eyes and convey to her that she was alright with all that had happened and for her not to worry. "I just want one question answered right now though."

Emily cringed and asked "What question is that Jennifer?"

"Was last night your scars or your fear?"

"No fear just my scars I am not afraid of my mother I just try to stay respectful as possible and sometimes it means leaving the room she is in to do that. Her words tend to cut deep leaving lasting scars." Emily said sadly. JJ shook her head in understanding. She thought to herself I really do not want to know what her fear is after seeing all of this other stuff.

Emily tried to redirect the conversation to a more normal morning chat by explaining "I just got plain bagels I figured that's all my stomach could manage right now but I did get you the cream cheese spread you love."

"Thank you but you know this super-sized coffee is what I am craving." She said laughing as they continued the soft conversation between them until it was time to lobby. They both left the room in the hopes of a much better day than the one before.

 **XXXXX**

Jane awoke to the smell of coffee and hoped Maura's mood had lightened some from the night before. She had only gotten about three hours of sleep due to the fact her brain couldn't shut itself off. She lay looking at the ceiling for hours replaying their conversation. She still was at a loss of how she was supposed to feel about her best friend sleeping with a woman even if it was in her teenaged years. Then she made up her mind telling herself it wasn't up to her to feel anything because Maura was her best friend no matter who she slept with.

She made her way down the stairs after taking a shower to help clear her thoughts and found Maura sipping her coffee. She decided to test the waters a bit with a timid "Good morning."

"Good morning Jane," Maura said using her professional voice. "There is coffee and bagels on the counter if you like," cringing at the tone of Maura's voice Jane said "Thank you."

Several moments passed in silence while they drank their coffee. Jane finally made a decision to just act like yesterday never happened and to try and break the ice that had seemed to settle all around them. "Are you ready for today Maur?" She asked with a hopeful hint in her voice.

"Jane I am dressed and ready to leave but I assume you are asking if I am ready emotionally for today. The answer is I am not sure. I am not sure if I want to see Emily again after my error in judgment yesterday yet I feel the need to apologize. There is another part of me another part of my emotions that I can't quiet rationalize or verbalize which has always been the case where Emily was involved." Maura said in a far-off look of haphazardness.

Jane took in what Maura was saying and realized the tones of her voice were an attempt on her friend's part to keep it together. She walked over and placed her hand on the woman's shoulder and said "Let's just go and see what the day holds Maur."

 **XXXXX**

The car arrangements were the same Hotchner, Rossi, Reid, and Prentiss in the first SUV while Morgan, Garcia, and JJ were in the second. Morgan and Garcia were chopping at the bit to get JJ alone so they could get the scoop on what happened after the restaurant scene with Emily's mother.

"So how is our brooding princess?" Garcia asked to get the ball rolling.

"Pen she is Emily and she is keeping a strong façade up." JJ answered hoping that was good enough to answer her friends' curiosity while protecting Emily's privacy.

"Now JJ we aren't buying that short but sweet answer. We see how she looks like death on a cracker." Morgan said giving JJ short glances from the driver side.

"Look really she hasn't told me anything except that she hates Boston and given all I've seen I can understand her disposition."

"Look gum drop I know Emily is all bottled up and communicationally challenged on her privates but you're telling me she hasn't said anything about Lady Morticia?" Garcia said in an exasperated voice.

JJ looked dead into Penelope's eyes and said "No Pen she hasn't talked about any of it and I will not press the issue because she has thrown up everything she has placed in her mouth since we have been in Boston so my thought is if I push her she is just going to get sicker and never talk to me again." She could tell that her friends weren't a hundred percent certain she wasn't hiding information from them but her answers were the truth at least. Emily hadn't talked at all about Maura or anything.

"Okay we'll give you the Emister's no communication deal but why the sam hills were you hugging Lady Morticia last night and what did she say to you?"

JJ wasn't prepared for this line of questioning. She took in a deep breath wondering if she could stall enough to get to the college and not have to answer. She noticed two sets of questioning eyes on her. "Pen quit calling her Lady Morticia. Guys Dr. Isles defended Emily in French to the Ambassador on the very end which is more than I can say for any of us including her own father." JJ said with a final note to her voice. Luckily, they had arrived at the college and she was spared the rest of the inquisition.

She exited the SUV and watched the brunette exiting the other vehicle. Emily gave her a semi-smile and she noticed a little color back in her cheeks as she caught up with her, "How is your head feeling?"

"For the first time in a while it doesn't feel like someone is hammering nails to hang pictures in my head," she said smiling.

"Good… today is going to be better." JJ said firmly.

 **XXXXX**

The morning lecture went off without any hitches and they were now on their own until the evening lecture that started at 6pm and would be over by 8:30pm if all went as expected.

JJ had made her way to the restroom after the speech had ended. While washing her hands Jane walked in. The two gave each other a nod in recognition as Jane made her way into a stall.

JJ washed her hands for longer than normal waiting Jane's appearance. She wanted to ask the detective how she was and how Maura was doing. She had noticed them sitting off to the left of the stage during the lecture. Luckily, they were almost behind Emily's back totally out of her view. She assumed that this had been a designed seating choice.

Jane came to the sinks and began washing her hands, "How is everything in your guys' camp this morning?"

"Well my camp is good but if you're asking about Emily she has her professional face on. How's your camp doing?"

Jane shook her head in understanding. "The same as your camp, look I'm sorry about yesterday. I really can't talk about it mainly because I do not comprehend it all." Jane said with a look of a sincere apology on her face.

JJ's face mirrored Jane's look of an apology, "I totally get that I just hope we can get through today in peace."

"Amen sister, amen." Jane said with total agreement as she opened the door for JJ and her to leave.

 **XXXXX**

JJ caught up with Emily outside the lecture hall. "Hey." She said trying to get her attention from the clouds.

"Hey yourself." Emily said with a half-smile.

"I see you kept that half a bagel down this morning. How are you feeling and are you up for some soup maybe?"

Just as Emily was going to answer the rest of the team came out and Penelope bounded up to the two of them, "How are my two lovelies doing and didn't we rock that lecture in there."

Emily half smiled and JJ took the lead in answering "The lecture went really well, I believe we had some real interest in the Bureau."

"You beautiful ladies up for some lunch," Morgan asked as he approached the women?

JJ looked at Emily to gauge if she was up for a group gathering, "I think Emily and I are going to catch a cab back to the hotel and rest awhile. We'll just grab some deli sandwiches but thanks for the offer."

"You two need some fresh air and chat time…" Garcia started saying until she caught the glaring fire in JJ's eyes, "… but we will let you slide this once." She finished hoping that eased things over with the blonde.

"No need of you catching a cab we can drop you off at the hotel and pick you up at 5pm." Morgan said with a smile.

"Thank you that would be nice." Emily spoke for the first time offering a genuine small smile.

 **XXXXX**

As was promised they were dropped off in front of the hotel but when JJ started to go in Emily's voice stopped her. "Jennifer… can we just walk around a bit, there is a restaurant just up the street we can get sandwiches at and further down is a small park with benches."

"Sure… that sounds better than an afternoon in a hotel room."

They walked in silence to the restaurant and got sandwiches and coffee and then in silence to the park where they sat and ate their lunch while watching children playing soccer. JJ brought Emily up to date on all the moves and rules the kids were doing since she was an all-state soccer player from high school and college.

The brunette had begun to relax into the afternoon. She looked at JJ watching the children and smiled. "Thank you for being such a good friend."

"You're very welcome Em. I am glad I could be there for you. I am still here for you and will be whenever you are ready to talk." She said with a meaningful smile.

"You asked me once "how nothing gets to me" it's because in some ways I have already seen it before. People lie, kill, are greedy, use people, and some few even love in all languages. If you basically never let yourself forget that then more and most likely you'll never be blindside by the truth." Emily said as a poor attempt of explaining her view points.

"That seems like a very dim and lonely way of living Em."

"I guess it would sound that way but it has kept me alive for close to forty years." She said chuckling to herself.

"Em… I want you to talk when you are ready but I'm going to ask you this and you can answer or not and know there is no judgment just curiosity. How close were you and Dr. Isles?"

Emily looked up into JJ's blue eyes and when she truly saw no judgment asked, "Maura told you to let me hear your heart beat didn't she?"

"Yes… she whispered in my ear that you were shutting down and that you would need to hear a heartbeat and that I would know the time and would understand when it was needed."

Tears started pouring down Emily's face. JJ pulled her into a hug and just let the brunette cry until the fountains of emotions were drained. Their moment of silence was interrupted by JJ's phone buzzing. It was Hotch telling her that plans had changed that they were leaving Boston right after the lecture for Odessa Texas on a child abduction case. Emily never answered her question that day.

 **XXXXX**

They arrived at the lecture stage at 5:30pm and noticed that only Lt. Cavanaugh and Detective Korsak were present at the lecture. He explained his team had been called out to investigate a homicide in the suburbs. JJ could hear a gentle sigh leaving Emily's lips. She couldn't tell if it was relief for not having to see Dr. Isles again or grief that she wouldn't see her again or both in one combination of an emotion.

The lecture went smoothly and the team was on the air plane by 9:30pm heading towards Texas. They were being briefed by the lead detective on the case by Skype. The ten-year-old girl had been abducted off a playground only nine hours earlier and she made the third girl abducted in 30 days. The last two victims turned up dead a week after their abduction.

 **(Chapter Eight)**

(Eleven months later)

"JJ… we have to do something Emily makes the walking dead look alive and well… living." Garcia said as she spun around in her chair looking like a miniature strobe light from a "Saturday Night Fever" set.

"Pen I know she looks rough around the edges but she is Emily she will be okay." JJ said not believing a word coming out of her mouth.

It had been eleven months since Boston and Emily hadn't spoken a word more about the trip. The fact that the team had to head straight to a child abduction case gave her the perfect out for opening up to anyone about Boston and the team seemed okay to let it go since she went right back to being Emily.

JJ had noticed the bags under her friend's eyes that made her wonder if the brunette was going through something again similar to Boston. She really wanted to help her friend but how does one say "Hey you need me to come over so you can lay your head on my chest and sleep." It was just easier to let her struggle and keep her pride than argue and lose a friend JJ thought.

"I really am not buying that JJ I demand a girl's night Friday as a means of intervention." The tech analyst said putting her foot down shaking her fuzzy pen at the blonde.

"Pen that's not a good idea. I tell you what let me approach Emily with this Friday and if she says no I will demand one the following Friday. Let's at least give her some warning we are planning this. You don't want her to totally shut off or worse see her broken it's not a pretty sight." She said before realizing what she had let slip.

"What one minute Buttercup, when have you seen Emily broken? You have been holding back from the queen of knowledge. Let me see, oh, it had to be in Boston. I knew there was more after "Mommy Dearest" descended upon our humble abode. Now speak JJ I want details." Garcia glared at her with a look of you're not leaving until I drain your brain.

"Crap, Pen I can't tell you really anything other than she was crying again in the shower when I came into the room from the restaurant. Only this time it was worse. I didn't pry given the scene she had been through with her mother earlier." She said hoping that was enough information to sway her best friend's curiosity.

"Well I have been keeping tabs on Lady Morticia just in case we have a case in Boston again. I believe Hotch will personally hand cuff Emily to her chair here at Quantico if we ever do." They both laughed at her comment.

"Stop calling her that Pen it's not nice. Now what have you found out about Dr. Isles?" She said wanting to know about this woman who brought Emily to her knees. Well in reality it was "Mommy Dearest" that brought Emily to her knees. "Stop it" JJ chided herself mentally for using Penelope's titles. "Where does she come up with this stuff?" She thought.

"Earth calling JJ," Garcia said waving a hand in front of JJ's face. "Sorry Pen, I got distracted. You were saying about Dr. Isles."

"Well despite what you say she deals with corpses, she speaks French, and she is spooky so I will continue to call her Lady Morticia until she no longer gives me the creeps. She probably has a vase full of long flower stems on her desk in her office even as we speak. Now it seems our dark creepy doctor treats all her friends like crap, look at this headline "Professional Freneminies." Penelope said as she pulled up the front page of the Boston daily paper from three days ago.

"You're just showing this to me now!" JJ blurted out.

"Hey I just saw it this morning but I have a feeling our brunette princess reads the Boston papers daily." Garcia said with a "you know what I'm saying is true" face.

Knowing there was little they could do, they decided to go and get some coffee to help them think of a plan to get the private woman to open up. On their way to the break room they passed the brunette's desk and heard an agitated Emily on the phone. They knew it was the Ambassador when she used the term "mother" like a used Kleenex. They could only hear one side of the conversation but it wasn't hard to figure out that it had to do with the news article about Dr. Isles being the daughter of Patrick Doyle one of Boston's notorious mob bosses.

"Ambassador she was adopted at birth she has no connection…"

"No Ambassador I am not glad you ruined our…."

"Mother I am at work now and …."

"do svidaniya mat'." (Good bye mother) Emily said as she threw her phone on the desk and covered her face with her now free hands.

Penelope started towards Emily's desk when JJ stopped her saying "No Pen I will approach her later. She is regrouping right now. You know Emily she will just burry everything deeper and we will never know what's going on."

"When did you get so in tune with Emily Gum Drop and don't try and tell me it's the new mother instinct. You have only been a mother for really four months now, pregnancy doesn't count." Garcia said pinning JJ with one of her "I see all" stares.

"I am guessing she is stressed right now since she told her mother good bye in Russian and the fact she is going to need a new phone after launching hers at the desk." She said looking at Emily concerned.

"Okay I know you speak French but when did you learn Russian missy? There are strange things going on in the land of joy and peace." Garcia said waving her hand in a circle in front of JJ's face trying to get her to focus the conversation back on giving her information.

"I asked everyone what Emily was saying the night at the restaurant and Reid told me that phrase was in Russian and it was good bye mother. Now she either always says good bye to her mother in Russian or she is going to take us around the world in less than thirty minutes again like she did that night." JJ said hoping this was enough to get Penelope to leave the stressed woman alone for a while.

"What are you two beautiful ladies in here chatting about?" Rossi asked as he grabbed the coffee pot.

"Just wondering where the team is headed next is all." Garcia covered.

"Well unless JJ has a death wish we aren't heading anywhere for a week I hope," he said as he left the women to their ponderings.

"Pen just leave it alone for now, I promise I'll let you know something soon, okay?" JJ said pleading with her gentle but firm voice.

"Okay for now JJ but I am concerned about her just as much as you are and I want to know the scoop. I do not like seeing her in this dark place." That was her last statement as she left to go back to her lair.

JJ decided to pour Emily a cup of coffee as a means to softly ease into a conversation with the brunette. She took a deep drink of her own liquid courage before walking towards Emily's desk.

"Hey, thought you could do with a cup of coffee." She said with a smile trying to hide the fact she had heard most of the phone conversation.

"Thank you," was spoken in an exasperated voice.

"Listen Garcia is after me to get with you on a girls night out to which I told her maybe later but I was wondering if you and I could have a friend's night of conversation and a bottle of wine maybe tonight. I totally need some "one on one" girl time but not as loud of time as Garcia if you know what I mean," placing a hand on Emily's shoulder to convey her point.

"I'm not sure how much company I will be and I can't promise anything but I will try. Come over to my place about seven and we will talk." She said as she arose to walk towards the restroom.

JJ was in shock that it didn't take begging or bribing to get the complex woman to agree to talk, it just made her wondered how bad her friend truly was.

 **XXXXX**

"Korsak I haven't seen these two this mad at each other before." Frost said shaking his head.

"I know that episode with that Emily person was bad enough I thought Jane and Maura wouldn't speak to each other for days, but I have a feeling this one will go on for weeks." Korsak said shaking his head like dynamite was involved.

"Well Jane did shoot Maura's father, I guess that would take some time to get over." Frost said with a small grin which didn't last long because they heard Jane's voice coming down the hall and both dove for their desks like diving for cover in a bomb blast.

Jane surveyed the office noticing that neither of her co-workers dared to look up from their computers. Especially when Maura came in right behind her to hand a file folder to Korsak that she normally would have handed to Jane since it was her case.

"Good morning Vincent and Berol nice to see you this morning. Could you please see that Detective Rizzoli receives this information?" Maura stated to the men even though Jane was only three steps away from her. Korsak took the file speechless shaking his head yes but looking at Jane with a "sorry" on his face.

"Maur" Jane said in a half angry half whiny voice, "I am standing right here you could just hand it to me?"

"Thank you… Vincent." Maura said as she turned and left the office without acknowledging Jane's presence.

Jane just sat down at her desk and ran her fingers through her curly brunette hair trying to keep the anger from escalating past boiling. Frost looked over at his partner, "Jane she'll come around its still just very fresh right now."

"I don't care anymore we have work to do so hand me the case file Korsak. Let's focus on the case." Jane said as she took the file from him trying to block the pain stabbing at her heart.

 **XXXXX**

JJ arrived at Emily's apartment right at 7pm. She was nervous as to how she was going to approach all the questions she had knowing any one of them could make her friend withdraw into silence.

She had picked up her go bag out of the car and walked to the door and with a deep breath she knocked. Emily opened after a few moments and gave a confused look at the bag on JJ's shoulder until she noticed her friend was still in work clothes.

"Come in. Would you like a drink and to change into something more comfortable?"

"Yes… please on both accounts." JJ said with a smile.

Emily pointed down the hall as she walked to the kitchen area, "The guest bathroom is down the hall to the left. If you like... the shower is free to use if you want to wash the BAU off like I do when I get home. The towels are fresh that are hanging on the racks feel free to use any of them."

JJ just smile and thought about Emily's statement a moment. That makes total sense with what she had witnessed in Boston. "Thank you… a brief shower sounds... wonderful." She wanted the brunette to be at ease while talking she thought, "And a shower would give Emily more time and it couldn't hurt my nerves to settle some as well."

Her shower was refreshing and getting into a pair of sweats was heavenly after being in the pin stripe skirt suit all day. She folded the used towel and walked into the living room where her waiting glass of wine was sitting in front of the couch on the coffee table.

"Feel better?"

"Yes… thank you... I almost feel human again." She said with a smile as she picked up her glass of cabernet and took a big drink letting the liquid flow down her body and into her veins a moment.

Emily watched her with a nervous interest. They sat for a few moments getting a feel for the atmosphere this conversation was going to have. Neither was in a rush nor felt pushed to even speak, their very presence with each other was enough to strengthen their hearts and souls.

Emily was the first to break the melody of silence between them, "Jennifer what are you wanting to talk about?"

"I'm worried about you Em I know you are not sleeping and" … JJ hesitated a moment but then decided to play all the cards up front. "I know about Boston and the Dr. Isles issues that are going on."

There was a flair of anger surging in Emily's eyes, "Are you spying on my personal life?" She asked accusingly.

"No Emily... Garcia is." JJ said with a slight chuckle but then focused back on the upset woman beside her. "Em, just hear me out. Garcia has been keeping up with your friend just in case we ever had to go back to Boston again on a case. She didn't want the team to walk into another situation blindly like the last time. She hasn't hacked anything just had a flag if anything came across and that article came across her computer. She's your friend and considers you family and she wants to protect you and none of us really got anything in a way of an explanation to what happened in Boston, not that your personal life is any of our business, but we have all seen the bags under your eyes these past few days and we are concerned," she ended her spiel with a look of acceptance and love.

Emily cupped her hands together like she was praying and let her head fall against them as she fought the growing dam of tears threatening to break, blowing out a deep breath, she tried to hold it together but it was no use she broke into small sobs. JJ moved next to her and wrapped the crying woman in her arms.

Emily whispered "e lohai Adonai oz rei ni" (my God Lord help me)

There it was again the prayer of a totally broken heart crying to its creator for help. JJ kissed the top of her head, "Em what darkness has touched you?"

The brunette pulled away slowly from JJ's arms, "Jen there is beautiful light in this world but there are shadows that try to blow out every hint of it so they can feel powerful and terrorize the innocent. We see it every day and in every case. I just saw it at an early age."

"Well that is a truthful statement but it also is a deflection too. You can tell me I promise I am a safe place for your secrets." She said softly taking her friend's hands in her own.

"Let's start by you telling me who Dr. Isles is to you," she hoped by giving a starting place it would help the brunette to open up.

"Maura is my soul mate." Emily closed her eyes not wanting to see the response in her friend's eyes.

"Soul mate as in spirits that flow through one another or as in lovers or both," JJ asked with a soft look on her face.

Emily opened her eyes and looked into JJ's blue spheres. "You are an old soul my friend. No one in my life has ever understood those words. Maura started off as a spirit that flows through mine and then later we found the physical attraction as well.

We were just kids really so "everyone" meaning my mother tore us a part. I had to leave school one day without explaining to Maura why. I had to protect her from the evils of my mother. The Ambassador would have damaged that beautiful soul I thought but now I wonder if I did more damage to her than my mother could have." She said lowering her head in shame barley whispering, "I haven't been there for her and still can't be because of my own past darkness."

"Hey it's okay. I think she knows now. That night in the restaurant she stood up against your mother. She also told me what to do to help you that night. She still feels your heart Em. She knew you were shutting down and it was killing her and she knew also she couldn't come and comfort you so she told me so I could be there for you when you needed it." JJ said wrapping one arm around her pulling her friend closer to herself.

Giving a few moments for her words to comfort Emily, "How did you and Maura find each other?"

Taking a deep breath and talking just barely above a whisper Emily started, "Rossi is the only one on the team that knows this story and he doesn't know the part about Maura though. When I was fourteen my mother felt, it was time that I started dating and that the son of one of the dignitaries that she was meeting would be a perfect starting place. I wanted to fit in with the new kids in Rome since we had just moved there so I went and things happened. The guy was seventeen and I ended up pregnant." There was a big pause in the conversation as sobs returned. JJ held her tight reassuring her everything was alright. She just waited patiently for her friend to continue to talk if she could.

"Jen. I aborted my child in a back-alley house. I couldn't bring my child into the world of my mother and I couldn't have been a mother. My priest told me I wouldn't be welcomed back to church and would basically be damned to hell yet I was already living in hell with my mother and I didn't understand my crime except for being born. I was so scared but my friend Matthew helped me set up the appointment and stayed with me. I still remember all the sounds and pains as I heard what sounded like a vacuum cleaner sucking my child out of my body." She paused as deep sorrowful sobs over took her voice.

JJ just kept holding her close waiting her tears out. She couldn't imagine the depths of pain Emily was in. She had just given birth to her own son Henry and had the very same decision to make because of not being married but she had chosen differently than the woman in her arms.

As if reading her friend's thoughts Emily said, "People always judge others by what they would do but funny thing when they find themselves in the same situation then suddenly the shoes do not fit so differently."

"Em I'm not judging you and after meeting your mother I totally understand your decision. You had to make such a hard decision at such an early age. I couldn't honestly say what I would have done. I have a feeling it would have been what you did," she said honestly.

They waited again in silence until Emily gained enough courage to continue her story. "I wasn't the same after the abortion. I had so much guilt and shame with no one to really talk to about it. I talked to Matthew at first until his parents blamed me for his bad behavior and forbid me from seeing him. My mother finally decided she would ship me off to a boarding school in France as a punishment for my own actions. That's where I met Maura. I was a wreck when I started there. I would make it through the day but at night the shadows tormented me and I would try and stifle sobs so she wouldn't hear and could sleep.

See Maura and I were roommates and one night when it was really bad she crawled in bed with me and made me put my head on her chest. That one act of concern and caring allowed me to finally sleep. I could hear the rhythm of her heart and I knew I was still alive because she was alive. I felt dead inside just like my aborted child but Maura has always had a sixth sense about me and what I needed and I also had that sixth sense about her. I became her protector at school when the girls were being abusive to her I just would know when to show up somehow."

"Em it sounds like you were both there for each other. That's a beautiful relationship."

"We were there for each other for two years. We became lovers just a little under half way through that time. I have never felt as loved as I did in her arms." Emily said as she looked out into space like if she tried hard enough she could capture Maura's embrace again.

Maura had to convince me that what we were feeling wasn't a sin. I loved her more than anything so how could loving someone be wrong. She made me study Hebrew law and in the original writings I found nothing sinful concerning our feelings for each other. The only sins in the whole law were if an adult tried to molest a child or if people stopped having children. I love God but I hate religion and politics.

We were so close and we made so many plans to be together. We were going to go to college together and save the world until my mother. She made me go to Yale for my first degree. I was going to get my masters at Boston Cambridge where I knew Maura was. I had finally developed a back bone and decided to live my own life so I went to Boston hoping to find Maura and explain everything. That's when I found out she was engaged to some guy named Garrett. Then as fate would have it the FBI was recruiting that week and I joined to save the world and forget my sorrows." She chuckled remembering her young ideas.

Slowly sitting back against her side of the couch away from JJ's arms Emily grabbed some tissues to wipe her eyes with. "I'm sorry for coming unglued I've just held all this in for such a long time and since seeing Maura in person it has made everything so raw again."

"Don't you dare apologize for any of this, I get it honest and another thing I want you to understand I know feelings and emotions just are. We can't choose who we truly fall in love with or who we are attracted too. Everyone wants to make everything fit into a box but it doesn't," JJ said rubbing Emily's shoulder.

Emily smiled at her and turned to pick up their wine glasses and noticed the clock on the bookcase which said 10pm. "Wow it's getting late you probably need to head home."

"No I really don't I made arrangements with Will so I could stay tonight. I had hoped you would let me help you sleep…"

"No… you need to get home to Will and Henry." Emily said cutting her off in a panic shaking her head.

"Calm down its okay. Will thinks we are having issues at work and that I'm here to help iron them out. I told him that we would be working late and that I was just going to spend the night. It's okay sweetie." She said trying to calm Emily's anxiety.

"Jennifer parts of me want to shut off and isolate myself but I'm so tired right now I'm not going to fight you. I'm not sure how I feel about this all but I just can't think about it right now. I will just say thank you," while hanging her head down looking at her hands. She didn't think she could meet the younger woman's eyes at all.

JJ knew this last confession had taken the rest of the brunette's strength. Her once strong and self-reliant friend would have fought her tooth and nail to remain that way and would have never agreed to a sleep over. This all gave her a clue as to how truly exhausted she was.

Putting her hand under Emily's chin she forced the brunette to look her in the eyes. "I think we have talked enough for one night let's get some sleep," she said as she looked at red bloodshot eyes still filled with pain and shame. She hoped to one day see her happy friend starring back at her again but at least the eyes weren't empty like they were in Boston.

Standing she took Emily's hand and led her to the bed room where she crawled in and patted the other side for the brunette to join her. Emily got in and JJ pulled her close till she finally was close enough to lay her head on her chest just above her heart. It only took a few moments of silence and hearing the rhythm of a heart beat for Emily to fall fast asleep in her arms.

JJ laid there for several moments pondering everything Emily had said. She was feeling so honored that her private friend had opened up to her and yet she still felt it was just the tip of a more complex and complicated story that was Emily Prentiss.

 **(Chapter Nine)**

(One week later)

"JJ… I totally do not understand your method of madness." Garcia said looking at her friend for more of an explanation.

"Pen we need a finger print off those burned victims and Dr. Isles is a leader in the field of doing so and she also has FBI clearance to work here at Quantico so I have asked for her help and she will be here in about two hours." she said with raised eyebrows like stating "no more questions."

"Well I still do not trust Lady Morticia she will probably bring cousin It or Thing with her. I don't like it one bit JJ. That woman slapped my friend and made her cry or so I'm told and that makes her marked goods in my book," Garcia said shaking her fuzzy top pen at JJ.

"Pen the only one coming with her is Jane." JJ said sarcastically.

"Jane? I thought those two were fighting."

"They were until her team and her family gave them an intervention."

"Speaking of an intervention missy, what did you do last week? Emily looks a hundred times better and I still want a girls' night out when Emily gets back." Garcia said waving her hands around.

"Well I'm not sure about that but let's get the team out for drinks tomorrow night." JJ said with a smile.

"Okay Gum Drop you're up to something. You can't fool me. I'm not sure what yet but the look in your eye has me intrigued so I will gather the troops to our favorite watering hole. It's too bad Emily is away on that consulting job... she probably could use a group night out as well." Garcia said still eyeing JJ skeptically.

"Good that's settled then, now I'm off to see where we are if anywhere on these murders in the burnt warehouses." JJ said exiting Garcia's lair.

The team had a break in the case when Dr. Isles was successful in rehydrating the fingers from the burnt corpses. It had only taken a day to close the case and Maura and Jane were going to head back to Boston when JJ pleaded with the M.E. to stay one more day. She needed more information on her friend to help her and she knew that Maura could give it. She convinced them both by saying Emily was out of town and by promising the Detective a tour of their offices in the afternoon.

 **XXXXX**

JJ had invited Maura up to her office while Morgan gave Jane the promised tour of the FBI offices. "Thank you so much for your help with this case Dr. Isles."

"You are welcome Agent Jareau and please call me Maura."

"Then you must call me JJ." She said with a smile as she sat behind her desk.

There was a moment of awkward silence between them. Then JJ decided to take the lead, "Maura I know this is all weird but I need your help on something else I believe only you can help me with." She said looking Maura in the eyes where she found a look of instant understanding.

"She's having issues, again isn't she?" Maura asked knowing JJ knew who she was talking about.

"Yes… it started after she read the newspaper article about Jane shooting your father."

"He was my biological father only he did not raise me. I figured my invite up to Quantico had a dual purpose." Maura said in a matter of fact way.

"I apologize if I have placed you in an uncomfortable position but Emily is my friend and really she is family to us on the team and she will not open up for nothing. Now I have been able to get pieces of the puzzle thanks to your advice that you gave me after the fiasco in the restaurant with her mother and it worked until this thing in the papers."

"JJ, Emily is feeling guilty because she couldn't protect me from all this chaos in my life. I'm not sure how much she has told you about our relationship but we were really close as teenagers." Maura said trying to feel her way through the conversation hoping not to betray Emily's trust by divulging too much information.

"Yes… we have discussed the nature of your relationship and it sounds awesome and I hate that her mother was such an evil person and messed the beauty up."

"Her mother destroyed the relationship of that moment but the beauty still lays in the memories. I've come to realize this past year that memories can never be destroyed." Maura said with a genuine smile.

"Can I ask you a personal question then?" JJ stated with hesitation.

"Yes… you may."

"Why haven't you tried to contact Emily and make amends for lost time?"

"I would love to make an amends but pride, fear, and locations are a big factor. We were so young then and I'm a scientist and I do not believe in magic anymore. Everything tells me I'm setting myself up for loss if I approach this. I will always have my beautiful memories though." Maura said with the same small sad smile that she had seen on Emily's face. A knock on the door interrupted the conversation.

"Come in." JJ said.

Jane came in with a big grin on her face and started telling Maura all about the gun range. JJ thought to herself "You found a surrogate for Emily haven't you Dr. Isles."

"Hey you two the team is going for drinks at our favorite watering hole and since you are leaving tomorrow I insist on an evening only filled with fun." JJ said with a bright smile.

The two women looked at one another seeing what the other thought about the offer and decided a night out with fellow law enforcement colleagues would be nice. "Sure… sounds great." Jane confirming, they would join them for drinks.

"Great here is the address and we will meet you there at seven then."

The women left arguing about going to a shoe shop that Maura wanted to visit. The last thing JJ heard was Jane whining about "Can't you order them on line you know you have to keep UPS afloat."

JJ laughed and picked up her phone and text Emily, "Hey I know you're getting home this evening how about meeting me at our usual watering hole at 6:45."

JJ's phone buzzed a few moments later. "That sounds good I need a drink after this place. I'll see you there at 6:45 then." JJ smiled to herself as her plan was coming together. She just hoped it worked and wasn't going to blow up in her face.

 **XXXXX**

JJ and Penelope were the first to arrive at the bar or so they thought until Emily was spotted at a far corner table. JJ bent towards Pen, "Listen Pen follow my lead on this please," as they walked over to the table.

"Oh girl I was right about that mischief in your eyes. You owe me big time." Penelope said following her friend.

"Hey you, I thought it was just going to be us but looks like Pen had already gotten the team together for some bonding time." JJ said with a sorry look on her face towards Emily.

"Hey my brown eyed girl, hope you don't mind us all crashing the party." Garcia said giving Emily a hug then glaring over her shoulder at JJ like "you are in so much trouble."

Emily smiled her award-winning smile, "No after the last few days I'm in need of beer and sarcasm. Speaking of which where are Morgan and the boys."

"They should be right behind us soon." JJ said taking a seat across from Emily.

"Hey look who the cat drug in," Rossi said as he approached the table.

"Why it's Princess." Morgan said.

Emily rolled her eyes and gave the guys a smile as each took a seat. They were catching up on her time in Akron, Ohio when they heard the rest of the team coming in and behind them were Jane and Maura.

There was a sudden cold front passing through the bar as it grew quiet and the team froze when Emily's eyes met Maura's.

Emily stood up and was frozen where she stood. Maura made her way to the brunette in a few strides when they were face to face she reached out and cupped the cheek that she had slapped in Boston a year before. Emily tilted her head embracing the touch of Maura's warm hand. No one could tell which one had said it "habibiy" (darling) it seemed they both whispered it together.

The spell that had fallen on the whole team was broken by the waitress delivering the drinks that had been ordered earlier. Emily took the hand that was on her cheek and inter locked her fingers with it and sat down causing Maura to sit right beside her at the table.

The team followed suite after figuring the coast was clear. JJ caught Emily's eyes and smiled while Emily mouthed a warning to her, "You are so in trouble," and smiled a big grin.

JJ just grinned back until she caught Garcia looking at her and mouthing the same thing. She shook her head and turned to Rossi, "Let's dance before I get hurt by my friends."

"I should make you stay here and pay the piper you master manipulator. Remind me never to play chess with you." He said as he took her hand and led her to the dance floor.

Emily asked Maura to dance; she was feeling exposed and wanted a moment alone without ears around to judge her words or feelings. She led Maura to the dance floor where it was eighties night. Which was perfect for them since they had danced to the original eighties music back in their school days.

A new song was starting when they got to the floor "When I Need You" by Leo Sayer. The couple smiled at each other and curled into one another as though no time had escaped them.

Rossi and JJ returned to the table where Penelope and Jane were sitting waiting for her confession. Rossi looked at the two waiting women and leaned down and whispered in her ear, "If I were you... I would just take the firing squad at least you get a final cigarette for your troubles." He then patted her on the shoulder and took a seat by Hotch who was grinning at Rossi's comment.

She held up her hands in surrender and looked at the fellows for help but they had their hands up shaking their heads letting her know she was on her own with no back up. Looking at them she said "Thanks guys," and they all laughed.

Garcia started it off with, "Okay Ms. Jim Lange…."

"Really…Really Garcia what does the host of the "Dating Game" have to do with anything," Jane asked frustrated.

"It was a good analogy and quit stopping my train of thought Ms. I could be a Charlie's Angel." Garcia said turning back to address JJ.

"What the hell did you just call me and has anybody ever drug tested you Punky Brewster." Jane said with an elevated voice.

"Ladies as much as I would love to see who would win this match I believe our friends need some interference run on their behalf," Morgan said pointing at two guys heading towards Emily and Maura. Morgan grabbed Garcia's hand while JJ took Rossi's to head to the dance floor. They danced around the couple who was oblivious to the world around them until the men got frustrated and left.

The two couples returned to the table ordering a round of beers. The ladies were looking at JJ again like dinner for a pride of lionesses. She looked at them, "Ladies these two women are our friends and they were hurting because of the past. I realize both of you want to protect your friend from pain but the silent pain they were in from the abyss of memories and "what if's" was hurting both of them, so you can be angry with me all you like. The only thing I will apologize for is not being totally honest with why I wanted us to get together tonight. Emily and Maura needed to talk it has been to long since their last conversation."

Jane looked to the dance floor, "I know they need to talk but they aren't talking and I really don't want Maura hurt or Emily."

Rossi looked at Jane with a knowing smile, "Jane look at those two, trust me there are volumes being spoken it's just in the language of silence which is the hearts favorite language because it's the only atmosphere that healing can begin in."

The whole table looked at the dance floor where the two friends were still dancing in a world of their own. It seemed that Rossi was right for they would pull apart every now and then and just stare into each other's eyes as if conveying a lost message that time had held on a shelf just for that moment. After a few moments of starring into each other's eyes the two would then curl back up in each other's arms like understanding was found and all was right in the world.

Emily and Maura walked back to the table about thirty minutes later and apologized to everyone for basically ignoring them. They explained that they were going to leave and while saying their good-byes Maura explained to Jane that she was going back to Emily's for the night and that she wanted her to come with JJ for breakfast in the morning.

Emily was also relaying the same information to JJ but asked if she would pick Jane up and bring her too. They left moments later.

JJ and Jane both had a moment of jealousy run through their veins confusing the hell out of both of them but neither gave it away they just watched the women leave and smiled.

Jane looked over at JJ, "When did they make these plans? Did you see them even say a word to each other?"

"No but they are soul mates maybe it's like Rossi said they don't have to verbalize words," and shrugged her shoulders.

"Can you give me a ride to the hotel please? I think this is just a little too much for me right now."

"Sure… there is an all-night coffee shop across from your hotel if you want to talk about it." She said with a knowing look as to what was bothering Jane.

They said their good-byes to the guys and as JJ went to hug Garcia the colorful tech pinned her with a glare before whispering into her ear "I love you JJ but you have some splaining Lucy to do and I expect full discloser."

"I'm sorry Pen I know you want explanations so I am going to get with Emily to get a girls' night together I promise but she needs to tell you things. I love you but that's the best I can promise." She said pulling Pen in tighter hoping her friend would understand.

Pulling away she gave JJ an "I understand but I'm not happy about it though," look. She then said "Girls night soon, I mean it."

The ride to Jane's hotel was quiet; Jane explained to her that she was tired and would just meet her in the morning and talk then. JJ gave her an understanding smile because if truth be told she was tired as well it's hard playing Cupid.

 **(Chapter Ten)**

JJ picked Jane up in front of the hotel the next morning on her way to Emily's as requested. It was Saturday so the traffic wasn't heavy and they made it in record time to the condo. They decided to wait and talk some in the car making sure they didn't show up early because neither one of them were for sure what they might walk into.

"JJ, thank you for taking me home last night, I still am having problems wrapping my head around this Maura with a woman thing. I haven't liked her choices in guys but this is still so out of left field." She said shaking her head.

"I get you are confused but what Maura and Emily have is priceless and really isn't about sex it's about love. Their hearts have formed a bond that supersedes just the physical plain and sex. I must admit in some respects I'm jealous of Maura because she's gotten to see all sides of my complicated friend. I think if you were honest with yourself... a part of your trouble with Maura loving Emily is that she has seen the whole of Maura."

Jane pondered JJ's words when suddenly Maura's words went through her mind from the day she had explained Emily and her relationship, "I am telling you that I loved a woman so deeply that she flowed within my spirit and knew me and loved me beyond physical plains. Soul mates do not have to be sexual partners, most are not."

JJ drew Jane out of her ponderings by telling her it was time to go in. Shaking her head in acknowledgement she opened the door and they made it up to Emily's condo and knocked. Maura opened the door smiling, "Good morning ladies welcome."

Jane looked at her like she was an alien and leaned into JJ and said with a low voice "What has Emily done with my friend? Maura never would be caught in a baggy t-shirt and sweats?"

"She probably slept in those Jane."

"Okay I could have gone all day without that piece of information."

JJ silently agreed with Jane because she recognized Emily's sleeping attire that Maura was in.

Maura called them into the kitchen where Emily was flipping pancakes in a matching t-shirt and sweat pants. "Good morning Jennifer your coffee is poured and on the counter and Jane I believe Maura has yours." Emily said with a big smile knowing JJ would be in need of a caffeine fix by now.

JJ smiled at the use of her first name. It was like Emily in a silent way was saying you still have your own special place in my heart. "Thank you Em you know me so well," she said laughing. She then turned to the other women explaining, "Just so you know I am a coffee Fein."

"I totally get that," Jane said as she took the cup from Maura who was shaking her head in agreement.

"You ladies need to go have a seat in the dinning room, for breakfast will be served shortly." Emily said as she passed JJ and kissed her cheek on the way to put some serving plates on the table.

JJ was caught off guard but thought I must be forgiven while resisting the urge to touch the spot where Emily's lips touched her cheek. "Get it together Jareau she is finally with Maura and happy and you are straight with a boyfriend and child. Damn emotions suck sometimes," she whispered to herself as she shook her head and went to sit down at the table.

"Wow your famous Mimosas you went all out didn't you Prentiss." JJ said with a big grin.

"Well I haven't had such beautiful women at my table in a long time so I thought a little showing out was in order." She said as she handed out the drinks. "A toast to friendship and forgiveness," she said lifting her glass as they all agreed with lifted glasses.

They ate their breakfast with light chatter and details of how Maura helped on the case which the team solved while Emily was in Akron. Jane had to stop Maura from the details of the exact procedure of hydration of fingers. "Maur… we are eating we do not need details. I'm sorry she just likes to tell everything in detail and in Google," Jane whined.

JJ and Emily laughed making the others look up puzzled. They both said at the same time, "Reid" and busted out laughing again.

"Spence is a genius and Maura is a genius, they both bless us with all the information about everything." JJ said as she smiled.

"I have had several enjoyable and in depth conversations with DR. Reid on many subjects and found him most invigorating to converse with."

The three women smiled and gave each other knowing looks. Jane looked at her watch and said "We need to leave shortly to check out of the hotel by two.

JJ looked at Emily to gauge her emotions of her friend having to leave and she found a peaceful sadness that would have been in anyone's eyes when people they love leave.

"I know Jane." Maura said as she looked to Emily.

Emily caught JJ's eyes and asked "Do you mind helping me carry the dishes into the kitchen?"

JJ shook her head and started picking up the plates and carried them into the kitchen. JJ caught Emily's wrist while she was going past her, "Are you okay with Maura leaving?"

"Jennifer I am sad but I am okay but Maura isn't leaving until Wednesday."

A thought of understanding crossed JJ mind as to why Emily left the dining room. "Jane doesn't know... does she?"

"No… she doesn't and I think it may cause some conflict. I'm not so sure Jane cares for me that much." Emily said with a slight grin on her face.

"I'm really not so sure it has to do with you per say but more the fact that Maura loves you and has had physical relations with you." She said with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

"Yeah I kind of got that impression last night."

"How could you have gotten any impression other than Maura's face?" JJ asked laughing.

"Shut up you. I saw more than Maura's face plus we talked about a lot of stuff last night when we came back here." She said rolling her eyes at the blonde.

"Talked?" JJ questioned raising her eyebrows again at Emily "I love you Emily and I have no problems with women loving women so tell the truth more happened than talking."

"Actually no Ms. Mind in the Gutter nothing more happened than talking and sleeping." She said shaking her head and laughing. "You've been hanging around Morgan and Garcia too much."

"Sorry maybe I was hoping you two got together and that would make you happy." JJ said honestly.

Emily came and embraced her and whispered, "I love what you have done for me. Maybe not the way it was done so much but words cannot express how I feel. I am happy Jennifer because I have a caring friend like you who did all of this for me and that's the only reason you are being let off the hook so easily," she said pulling JJ in tighter to convey all the emotions she didn't have words for.

 **XXXXX**

"Wendesday! Why are you staying till Wednesday?" Jane asked upset.

"Jane I understand this is all different to you but I have extended my plane reservation out and I have already taken care of my office and I will not be needed back until Thursday when I have a court date, so I am staying here with Emily to catch up and enjoy my friend's company." Maura said with a "please understand" look on her face.

"Maur I get you want to catch up with Emily but I'm having problems with you being in love with her." Jane said with her head hung down.

Maura smiled and understood her friend. She knew her relationship was stretching Jane's boundaries beyond measure. "I can't even begin to explain something your whole religion has taught you was wrong. I had the same issue with Emily at first but I knew she was gay and I wouldn't be much of a friend if I let her continue hating herself for how she felt." She said hoping Jane would get a glimpse of understanding.

"Wait you told me that you weren't gay but now Emily's gay, what the hell Maura?" Jane was becoming more confused.

"Jane if I have to wear a label I'm bi-sexual. I have only slept with one woman because I loved her so deeply and thought she had betrayed me and it put me off from being with women again. I have never made love to a man only to one woman…."

"Hold it right there, you are all the time talking about sex and endorphins and trying to get me to hook up with guys." Jane said indignantly.

"Jane I keep telling you sex is sex and a biological need of adults but to give that special place that special moment to another is different and there is another difference I feel I could make love to a man but Emily isn't made that way mechanically yes but emotional no."

"Okay it must be because I've never had that "Moment" with any of the guys I've been with or it could be with most guys the moment was over before I could recognize I was supposed to have had one too" Jane said shaking her head and laughing.

"Now Jane I know that isn't true." Maura said laughing.

"You are right but it's never been like you are talking about." Jane paused a moment then continued "Emily is a nice enough person I guess but I'm afraid she will hurt you somehow or worse you'll move away and I'll lose my best friend," she said hanging her head down.

"Jane… you will never lose me and we are nowhere near I'm going to fly down here away from my home and my work but I am going to take these few days to reconnect with a part of my life I have been missing since I was a teenager." She said lifting Jane's chin up so her friend could see the honesty in her eyes.

"Okay I trust you. I'm going to the hotel and get ready to leave. I hope JJ doesn't mind giving me a ride back and I'll just take the hotel shuttle to the airport. I hope you have a nice time with Emily and I'll see you on Thursday." She said getting up to say good-bye to the others.

Maura caught Jane's arm and pulled her into a big hug. Jane felt her heart sink to her toes. She had a bad feeling about all of this not so much about Emily and Maura but something felt out of place and she couldn't place her finger on it but her "Cop Gut" was working in over drive and felt like something nasty was just waiting to pop up but she loved her friend and just placed her feelings on the back burner.

They met Emily and JJ in the kitchen. They all hugged and said good-byes. When Emily hugged Jane, she held on and whispered into her ear, "Don't ever cross a line unless you are ready to be totally true to yourself it will kill her," then released her. Jane smiled but Emily's words hit her to the very core of her being as she left to go home and ponder everything that had changed in less than twenty-four hours' time.

 **(Chapter Eleven)**

"Penelope… I told you I wasn't going to tell you anything and really, I do not know that much anyway. We can ask Emily for a girls' night on Thursday when she gets back to work." JJ said in her frustrated mommy voice.

"I bet they have been all about making little Moticia's even as we speak…"

"Pen stop it. Emily is our friend and we will not speak of such things." JJ said holding up her hands and one eyebrow at the same time.

"Oh… stop it yourself JJ you know you're thinking the same thing that's why you've been in a bad mood for the last two days." Pen said dismissing JJ as a shocked look appeared on her face.

"I have not been in a bad mood just kind of scared now wondering if Emily will move to Boston." She said softly.

"I know you just wanted what was best for Emily but next time keep your nose out of it. She was a happy brooding brunette princess all she needed was Sergio the cat to be happy." Pen said with a fake smile.

"You are bad, really, really bad Penelope Garcia," JJ said laughing and leaving the lair shaking her head.

 **XXXXX**

"Maura is coming back, today isn't she?" Frost asked hoping a reminder to Jane would ease up her foul mood.

"Yes… I pick her up from the airport at three." Jane said with a faraway look in her eye. "Listen I'm going to the café for a moment, you want anything," she said as a light bulb seemed to go off in her head.

"No… I'm good, take your time I'll let Korsak know where you are if we need you," He said with a smile.

 **XXXXX**

"Jane where have you been, I've been worried sick, you don't answer your phone and this is the first time I've seen you in days," Angela said waving her hands in the air like a crazy woman as her daughter entered the café.

"Ma!" Jane held up her hands in surrender. "I know I've been a lousy daughter but I've had to do some thinking and I needed time to myself," she explained with her head hung down not looking at her mother.

"Oh… baby does this have to do with Maura and her friend Emily. I know it's hard but honey I really don't think you have to worry. Maura and you are best friends," she said as she handed Jane a cup of coffee.

"Rizzoli!" Stanley yelled. "Are you goanna gab all day or wait on customers?"

"Jane is the only one in here right now Mr. Stanley but I will catch anyone that walks in," Angela said with a fake smile in her voice.

Angela knew that the issue with Maura was causing her daughter some major confusion for Jane didn't even engage in a vocal argument with Stanley that would've surely ensued if Jane was being Jane. "Honey what's got you so upset?" She asked testing the waters.

"Ma... Maur and Emily were together as in lovers together when Maur was a teenager." She said it like that would explain everything wrong in the world.

"Oh honey, I'm not exactly sure how to respond to that but I believe Maura is a wonderful person and she deserves to be happy. You know Jane you can't tell your heart who to love it just picks on its own." Angela said hugging her daughter.

"Okay, bring my Catholic mother out here at once. That is not what I expected out of your mouth ma. You look like Angela Rizzoli but you do not sound like her." Jane said chuckling to herself and shaking her head.

"Jane I do not claim to understand that type of love but I respect Maura and know she wouldn't give that big heart of hers to a bad person. I have had to do a lot of evaluating of life since your father and I split up. Who am I to judge if Maura has found love? It's a precious gift honey." Angela said trying to comfort Jane.

Jane thought about those words for a moment and they took hold and steady her. She thought about the second thing that was bothering her and wondered if she should even approach it. Angela sensing her daughter's thoughts asked, "Honey does Maura loving a woman bother you because you two are such good friends?"

Jane ran her hand through her raven curly hair then across her face. "If I'm honest ma yes it does." She said looking at the table in front of her not chancing the look in her mother's eyes.

Angela lifted her daughter chin so she could look at those beautiful brown eyes, "Jane I'm sure this does mess with your feelings but honey the only way you're going to get peace is to talk with Maura when she gets back."

"Your right ma, I love you," Jane said as she reached and hugged her mother.

Angela was shocked, "Okay where is my non-touchy feely daughter, you look like Jane but you don't act like her." They both busted out laughing.

"Rizzoli! You working for a living or am I paying you to be a shrink?" Stanley asked.

"Stuff it Stanley you should pay her double for convincing us to drink your week-old coffee." Jane said roughly.

"Don't like it Rizzoli go somewhere else." Stanley said as he went to the backroom before she could retort.

"That's my girl." Angela said smiling.

"Thanks ma I'll see ya later." Jane said as she made her way back up to the bullpen.

 **XXXXX**

The drive from the airport to Maura's house seemed tense due to the fact Maura was basically glowing after her time with Emily. Jane's knuckles were turning white as she clutched the steering wheel so hard not knowing what to say and being afraid of losing her friend. "Jane… do you want to talk about all of this," Maura asked noticing Jane's body language displaying all kinds of emotions.

"Maur I want to talk but I'm not sure if I can express everything. My insides are a mess. I'm afraid of losing you and your friendship then I'm confused about our friendship. What the hell Maur." Jane ended her rant on a whine.

"How about we talk about Emily and my weekend and then we can take everything else a day at a time but to let you know I'm not moving and Emily and I are not together." She said giving Jane a few moments of relief.

The brunette looked over to see the truth in her friends face and relaxed some, "Okay, we can talk but I'm still not sure about all of this stuff and by the way ma said to tell you, "she fed your turtle." Jane smiled trying to lighten the atmosphere a bit knowing calling Bass a turtle should do the trick.

"Tortoise, Jane, Bass is a tortoise." Maura replied laughing knowing what Jane was trying to do.

 **XXXXX**

Emily walked into work on Thursday happier and more rested than she believed she had ever been since starting the BAU. She didn't mind the piles of work that had accumulated on her desk for she was at peace with herself for the first time since leaving Maura in France at seventeen.

"Why if it isn't Ms. Stud Muffin herself up in here." Emily looked up to see Morgan all wiggling his eye brows, grinning and pointing at her, "Yep, you heard me princess," he said heading towards her desk.

Emily rolled her eyes but couldn't stop the smile on her face. She thought to herself he will never believe what truly happened so I might as well torture him with his on fantasies. "Well my time off did beat a "Sin to Win Atlantic City weekend," she said giving him a look of pure seduction that made him shiver, "and you know how I love those," she said with a smile to herself because she had nailed him to the wall and left him speechless.

Reid walked in on the last bit of the conversation and knew better to jump in that deep of water given the facial expression on both of his co-workers faces. He passed Morgan who was mumbling to himself "There is so much more to that woman and I'm really not quite sure I want to know anymore," and headed straight for his desk.

It was like clockwork Emily thought to herself as JJ and Garcia came out of JJ's office heading towards her desk. "Just sucked it up," Emily whispered to herself preparing for Garcia.

"Welcome back Casanova." Garcia said as she hugged Emily. "How was your day's off and my aren't we simply glowing missy," Garcia said with an evil grin.

"Garcia!" Emily said rolling her eyes at her friend's candor, "Your incorrigible!" JJ just covered her mouth and looked down trying not to laugh at Emily's look of "God help me."

"Watch it baby girl our princess seems to not kiss and tell, just leaves you hanging by the fingertips of that fantasy cliff hearing "Tattoo" yelling "The plane, the plane." Morgan said laughing.

Emily and JJ both cracked up at Morgan's banter. JJ caught Emily's eyes while she was wiping the tears from laughing away and said, "Hey you."

"Hey yourself." Emily smiled back enjoying the moment until Garcia interrupted with, "Alright my lovelies' tomorrow night my house girls' night."

"No Pen I told you the last time I was there your lava lamps mess with my peripheral vision for days afterwards but JJ and you can come over to my place tomorrow at seven."

There was a high-pitched squeal and hand clapping from the tech analyst.

"Baby girl inside squeals please I need my hearing today." Morgan said as he placed his hands over his ears and smiled.

"Oh… be quiet you. You are just jealous you're not invited to girls' night." Garcia said as she slapped at his hands over his ears. They continued the banter with each other totally lost in the frenzy that was Derek and Penelope.

JJ asked Emily if she wanted to get a cup of tea while she got a cup of coffee. Emily smiled and followed her into the break room to get a cup of relaxation. They didn't say anything in the break room figuring they would be interrupted or things might be over heard that didn't need to be so they waited to talk when they got to JJ's office. Emily led the way with the blonde shutting the door to her office once inside giving their conversation some privacy. "So how were the last few days because you look amazingly rested?" JJ said as she went to her desk.

"I have peace now and that hasn't been in a very long time. I think my heart did years of healing and I think Maura's did too. I know most will not believe me if I told them the truth that we didn't have sex at all. What we did was much deeper than sex could ever be. We mostly danced, held hands, and reconnected to each other's souls. We flowed in and out of each other freely like we did so many years ago. It was so amazing and comforting I wish I could explain it or even paint it. I bet that is what abstract is all about, painting what you can't explain." Emily said starring into her tea like she had been transported to a faraway beautiful place and given a new truth.

JJ had to check her emotions for she found herself becoming jealous again of one Dr. Maura Isles but she also realized she was so grateful to her too because she opened up a door into Emily that she was for sure would have never been open if it weren't for Morticia. "Stop it, dang Penelope," she chided herself.

"That sounds amazing. I haven't had anyone that I felt I could let flow through all my joys, fears, and life. I'm like most people I guess I just give bits of my soul here and there so no one can truly put the puzzle together and see me for who I am," she said looking down at her desk knowing she just exposed a lot to Emily.

Nothing more was said as a knock on the door signaled the team was meeting was going to start. Emily stood and walked with JJ to the conference room and made it as Hotch was just starting the meeting, he announced that they were on call for this weekend but nothing seemed to be on the radar for them at this point. Garcia breathed out a sigh of relief since she really wanted a girl's night out.

 **XXXXX**

Jane pulled into Maura's drive and began getting the M.E.'s luggage out of the car while she ran to the door then to the restroom. Jane laughed knowing that Maura probably had been holding back till she got home instead of using the plane's little closet spouting off all the possible bacteria that could live in the tiny space.

"Thank you for bringing in my luggage Jane. Would you like a beer I believe there is still some in the refrigerator. I will be back down in a moment I just want to take a quick shower since riding on that plane where the air is recirculated. You know that's one of the leading causes of sickness in travel." Maura said looking at Jane with a serious look.

Jane laughed to herself, "Go take a shower just before the google mouth starts with naming all the creatures."

Jane got a beer and set a wine glass on the counter for Maura knowing she would want a glass of wine after her shower. She decided to order pizza too since she was hungry and figured that Maura hadn't eaten since Quantico.

Making her way down about the time the pizza arrived Maura smelled the aroma drifting in from the front door and knew immediately what Jane had done and smiled. She met Jane at the kitchen island and began pulling plates for their diner. "Thank you... I am hungry and was craving some artery plaque material. I know you are sadden that I do not have any green kale leafs in my refrigerator so we'll just have to eat salads this weekend and run extra miles to make up for this indulgence." She said smiling at Jane's scrunched up nose.

"Alright Maur I'll do the extra miles but no tree eating this weekend that's for cows and giraffes." Jane said waving her hand in dismissal of the M.E.'s suggestion.

Maura poured herself a glass of Cabernet and laughed at her friend's stubbornness. They enjoyed their dinner and the moments of light chat before the serious conversation was to begin. After cleaning up they brought their second round of drinks to the couch wanting to be comfortable while they talked.

Maura decided to start the conversation, "What has you so upset Jane with Emily and my friendship?"

Jane looked at Maura for a few moments and then down at the beer bottle in her hands. "That's just it Maur it's not just a friendship. You two were/are closer, as in really close," Jane said not being able to bring herself to say lovers.

Maura reached out and lifted Jane's chin so she could look her in the eyes knowing that Jane needed to read the emotions of her words as well as hear them, "Jane I can't make you understand Emily's and my relationship that we had when we were younger, nor can I explain the physical attraction between women if you do not have that same desire. I can only explain Emily's and my relationship as it stands right now. We are reconnecting in the physical that deep part of our souls that was torn apart by fear and bigotry of her mother. There wasn't a sexual component to our time together this weekend; there was physical contact in the reconnection of years missed. We basically grieved that loss and comforted one another by holding each other, dancing, and yes even an occasional kiss."

Maura paused for a few moments to see if what she was saying was sinking into her best friend's mind. She could see several emotions playing on her face, "Jane what's the matter just tell me your thoughts," She asked hoping to draw her friend's voice out.

"Maur this has given me questions about our friendship and how deep it is or what it really means." Jane looked at her friend with raw emotion flooding thru her eyes.

Maura stayed still holding her breath afraid if she moved the scared deer before her would bolt and never be seen again.

Jane took a deep breath and continued her thought, "Maur I have had to fight all my life against people calling me butch or a dyke because I like being me. I like playing baseball and hockey. I like wearing a gun and protecting people. I do not want to wear a dress like a princess all the time so some man might bestow his affections on me if I'm pretty enough or meet his standards and I know that's not why some women wear dresses and that it's just them. You wear fashion because it's you and you are great on you it's just not me but they group me in this role anyway when I believe I'm normal.

I thought of women being with women just basically as role playing because people had grouped them in that role and they just went with it. Then I find out that you have been with a woman, I actually see you dancing with her and see all the feelings she is pouring into you and you her and I wonder have I missed something? I never thought two people could express or feel that much love for one another outside of a movie set. That kind of love only exists in someone's dreams… right? That's what I thought until I saw you two together and it's not what I was taught in Catholic school. That love, not that I ever saw it, is only supposed to be for men and women together yet here you two are and I'm jealous sometimes because Emily has it with you. She's stealing my best friend that I have deep feelings for and there isn't anything I can do about it because I'm still not sure that I can be everything that Emily is or was to you," Jane finished her soul confession with her eyes glued to the cushion of the couch between Maura and herself.

Once again Maura slipped her hand under Jane's chin pulling her brown orbs to look into her own eyes. Jane gasped at the tears running down from Maura's eyes. "Jane I do not need you to be Emily for me I need you to be Jane who is normal whoever you decide to love and I will be happy in whatever form our friendship takes. Emily can't be you for me either nor can I be JJ for her. Let's just be ourselves and our friendship will be what it needs to be."

Tears began flowing down Jane's cheeks as she smiled at Maura's words, opening up her arms requesting a hug which Maura gladly scooted over and gave. The two friends found peace in the contact and silence of each other's arms knowing they had restored their friendship and it was made stronger by the honesty shared.

 **(Chapter Twelve)**

"So… Pen what movies did you bring," JJ asked while waiting for Emily to answer for their girls' night.

"Oh… some oldies but goodies, I brought some that Emily might appreciate since she seems to be reliving the eighties, Pen said with a grin. I brought "Back to the Future" and "Jumping Jack Flash". I thought comedy tonight might be better instead of chick flicks given our princess's mood swings lately."

Emily opened the door with a smile, "Hey, sorry for the wait I was just finishing a phone conversation with Maura."

"No worries our brown eyed beauty. How is your lover doing," Garcia asked with a sheepish grin towards JJ. Who just shook her head and looked at the floor and grinned while thinking "this is going to be a lovely evening making sure Emily doesn't strangle Garcia."

The brunette sighed a deep breath and looked at Garcia, "Pen as much as Derek and you would love to think that nothing less than a lesbian porn movie was made by Maura and myself earlier this week I am sorry to inform you that nothing more than hugging, hand holding, and an occasional kiss took place in my condo during that time period. Now I've said all I'm going to say on the matter because it's really none of anyone's business who or why anyone sleeps in my bed."

"Okay…okay, don't get your princess feathers ruffled. We are just curious is all because to be honest I never have seen two people look at each other like you two do and not have the next dance be the horizontal tango," Pen said waving her hands and laughing going to put the stuff she brought down and setting up Emily's living room for tonight's events leaving Emily and JJ shaking their heads in her wake.

"Would you ladies like a drink I have red and white wines, juice or water. I know not much of a selection but it's what the house is offering at the moment," she said smiling heading towards the kitchen.

"I believe we will have red and I'll come with you and order the Thai food," JJ said following Emily into the kitchen.

"I have already placed the order before Maura called."

"Did she make it home okay?" JJ asked sincerely.

"Yes… she is having a hard time with her friends but in a totally different manor than me," she said laughing and winking at JJ.

"She's having issues with Jane, isn't she?"

Emily shook her head yes and eyed JJ with curiosity. "Jane expressed concerns to me when she was here. I believe you two have shaken the "if she can love a woman then where does that put us tree". She loves Maura I believe deeper than she has brought to her conscience and I think Maura mirrors those feelings as well." JJ said watching Emily's eyes for confirmation to her theories.

"Well Agent Jareau I do believe there is a profiler in you yet my dear," Emily said with a smile, "And you would be correct on all accounts."

JJ felt she was on a roll so she plunged on further stating, "That is why there wasn't any sexual contact this weekend wasn't it."

The brunette eyed her with a fight or flight expression and started to answer her but the conversation was interrupted by Garcia coming in, "Where is my wine or did we move the girls' night into the kitchen?"

"Here you go Pen. Sorry we got caught up talking about what Emily ordered from the Thai place we like so well," JJ said covering their tracks.

Emily smiled at JJ and thought "She is so smooth; guess all the years of working with the press has proved useful." The doorbell rang signaling their food had arrived with perfect timing.

They ate while watching "Jumping Jack Flash" and Emily mouthed with Whoopie Goldberg the line "Mick speak English and I was raised by two lesbians." Garcia took that as her cue, "Emily when did you know you were a lesbian because we all thought you were straight, of course that was before the pristine Dr. Isles made an appearance?"

Emily was now on her second glass of wine with them so the question didn't bother her as much and answered, "I've been attracted to women all my life but I didn't admit it until Maura. We met each other at school and yes before the second question comes out of your mouth I have dated men most of my life but only have fallen in love with two people in my life and they are both women. My mother will not let me be in love or happy with a woman because she is afraid it will look bad on the Prentiss name. That is all you will get from me on this subject O Supreme Being of all Knowledge Penelope Garcia." Emily said lifting her wine glass to her friend in a mock salute. Garcia and JJ eyed each other wondering about their friend's statements and behavior.

JJ looked over at Emily, "Em how much wine did you have before we arrived?"

"Why I'm not drunk... yet... but buzzed is a good word," she said laughing. "Don't even think about it Garcia you've gotten all you are going to get from me woman. Next… you'll be asking what lesbians do, god I hate that question. Try it and find out yourself if you are brave enough," Emily said busting out laughing picturing images that just didn't belong in the same room let alone her head.

With her mouth, wide open in mock shock, "Emily Prentiss I would never have asked that question and how do you know I haven't?"

JJ lost it laughing so hard she thought she would pee on herself. "Stop it you two you are killing me," she said in between gasps of air. "Now Pen you know that was your next question or was it "How is it to kiss a girl," JJ barely got out before grabbing her sides and rolling on the couch in fits of laughter.

"See JJ knows me better than you Emily," Pen said and stuck her tongue out at Emily as they all lost it.

"Oh… no you don't Garcia, your turn to spill the goods, when were you ever with a woman," Emily asked trying to keep a straight face through the question.

"Okay Ms. Smarty Pants I haven't been but you didn't know that," Garcia said indignantly. "Oh… but I believe I did Garcia," Emily said laughing.

"There is no way you could've known that."

Emily couldn't stop laughing long enough to answer her friend so JJ said, "I got this one Em. Pen your whole language as in body and verbal is in total worship of the male form. I can't even begin to imagine you with a set of female lips on yours."

That image sent Emily and JJ cackling holding their sides laughing. Emily finally said in between gasps, "In the dictionary there is a picture of you next to the word "androphilla" (one who is attracted to all things masculine) Pen." They all shook their heads yes in an agreement on that one and busted out laughing again.

"Okay so I'm busted and we know that princess over there has kissed a woman so what about you Ms. All American Girl have your lips touched the sweet nectar of femininity?" Garcia asked with a curious look. "And don't give me I'm with a man and have a child answer that is on your lips either."

JJ looked at Garcia with an "I can't believe you are asking this" look. Emily picked up the bottle of wine and refilled the glasses giving JJ a moment to gather her thoughts to answer Pen's question feeling the tension pouring off the younger woman.

"Pen I played soccer in college with several women who experimented and some who were lesbians. I have kissed a girl. I have never fallen in love with a woman before but to be honest I haven't fallen in love with a man either." JJ said looking into her glass of wine feeling exposed. She didn't mean for the last part to come out or did she.

Garcia started to say something but Emily cut her off trying to protect the blonde, "Pen people get together for many reasons other than love. They sometimes fall in love with the love another gives them, some out of fear of being alone, some think they're in love because they have sex, and some truly find perfection in that secret place of togetherness called love. It's not something that magically appears it is a goal that over time is obtained by two people searching for the same thing."

JJ felt the conversation getting a little too deep for her comfort zone so she lightened the atmosphere by asking, "When are we going to get Morgan in drag so Pen can say she kissed a girl too because you know that's the only way girlie lips will touch hers," which sent them into fits of laughter again at the thought of Garcia's chocolate god in heels and a skirt.

Once they gained control over themselves they finished up the Thai and the movie inserting colleagues into the roles of the movie with Emily ending up being Jack. Which she pondered how close to home her two friends were without even knowing it.

 **(Chapter Thirteen)**

(Four Months Later)

Monday morning started off with a bang the team had caught a case in Atlantic Beach, Maryland. JJ was putting files out in the conference room for the team when Hotch called her into his office for a meeting with Strauss and himself. Strauss was requesting her to reconsider a job with the State Department that she had been recruited for. "Hotch I turned it down I like my job here." She said in a huff.

"JJ I am trying to stave off this change I didn't even know you were offered. I've gone above Strauss but I'm not sure if it's going to do any good but I will try." Hotch said with a steal face covering his emotions.

 **XXXXX**

Emily walked into the BAU noticing JJ going into Hotch's office with Strauss. She passed Morgan and asked "Do we have a case?" Morgan shrugged his shoulders letting her know he didn't know. She sat at her desk and noticed an envelope on it that wasn't there before the weekend. She opened it and found pictures of the Friday night at the bar with Maura from months earlier. Emily looked around to see if she could figure out who left it.

Emily's phone buzzed and she saw it was her mother so she answered it rolling her eyes, "Good morning Ambassador." Emily started using her mother's title solely to address her since the night at the restaurant in Boston until her mother would get angry and make her call her mother again.

"Good morning Agent Prentiss." The sarcasm wasn't lost on Emily, "I was wondering if you have had a chance to open the envelope I had delivered to your desk."

"Yes, Ambassador I have seen the contents of the envelope, is there a reason for you having them sent to me," Emily said containing the fury she felt knowing her mother was going to start an argument.

"Emily Elizabeth Prentiss… I warned you I wouldn't stand for this behavior. Imagine when I returned home and found these in my personal mail. I warned you as a child and I will warn you again this behavior is not natural and I will not tolerate having you damage the Prentiss name by continuing to participate in such behavior."

"Hold it right there… mother!" Emily cut her off mid threat. "I am a grown woman and I will love who I love and I will protect those I love even if it is from you! I am not trying to damage anyone's name let allow my own but I will not be dictated by your limited and bias views anymore! Do not make me choose again mother you will not like my choice I promise! I have to go now we have a case to prepare for." Emily hung up the phone and headed to the restroom to calm down before going to the team meeting.

She washed her face and repeated several things to herself in several different languages while replaying the phone conversation in her mind. She also began to wonder where the photos came from in the first place and who her mother had detailing her or was someone else following her.

 **XXXXX**

The team was briefed and on the plane before Emily could get JJ alone and ask what was up with the meeting in Hotch's office. She did notice her friend withdrawing into her thoughts in back of the plane so she went and sat beside her on the couch.

"Hey," Emily smiled, "Is this sit taken?"

"No it's all yours," JJ said with a halfhearted smile.

"What's up? What were you, Hotch and Strauss talking about?" She asked with a concerned look on her face.

"Emily… they are trying to move me to the DOD but Hotch is trying to stop it from happening." JJ said looking distraught out the plane's window. "I like my job here I don't want to go."

"They can't make you go then, can they?" Emily asked with a sympathetic voice.

"I hope not but Strauss is involved in it somehow and I didn't even ask for the damn promotion." She said with a defeated voice.

Emily didn't have words she took JJ's hand in hers and just held it. She realized this had Elizabeth Prentiss written all over it. JJ had made Maura's and her reconciliation possible. Hurting her friends had gone too far. She just hoped Hotch had enough pull to keep JJ in the BAU but doubted it. Emily replayed her conversation back from this morning with her mother and whispered to the air, "Mother I will defend my loved ones like I said I would. I do not fear you anymore. I will be free to be who I am."

The case was a win for the team since they found Kate Joyce alive. This should have sent the team home on a high but the news came down that JJ's transfer was a done deal she no longer worked for the BAU. The flight home was quiet and sad with Emily pondering what she could do to save her friends from her mother.


End file.
